A Little Too Much, A Little Too Deep

Chapter 3

It's funny to think of how corny this is. To sit here and stare at each other like we are in one of those cheesy romance novels that Lissa loves to read so much. But I can't take my eyes off him. His mouth opens and then closes with an audible snap as his eyes flit from mine to my father sitting next to me. He smiles meekly and clears his throat.

"I should go and tell your mother that you are awake before she stakes someone," Abe says as he stands up, plants a quick kiss on my forehead and walks to the door, giving Dimitri a stern look before gracefully slipping out and closing the door behind him.

And then we go back to staring at each other. Why is he here? I take in the stubble that has grown on his face and think that he shouldn't shave it off because it just looks so good on him. To his shoulder-length hair that is hanging loosely around his face, up to the bags under his eyes that indicate that he has not slept well in days.

"How long have you been awake?" he asks quietly, moving to stand directly at the end of my bed, placing his hands on the foot rail and leaning on it slightly. I can see his eyes flickering over me in quiet movement as if he is worried that I will disappear into thin air.

"Not long, maybe a few minutes."

He nods his head a few times and continues to look at me. I can see the questions swirling around in his eyes and I know that he is doing everything he can not to ask them in rapid-fire.

He said he wanted nothing to do with me, why is he here. This is a cruel joke.

"Can you please pass me a cup of water," I ask, trying to clear the dryness from my throat, but the dryness is almost like I swallowed the desert. He turns to the counter behind him and pours the water into a paper cup bringing it over to me. As I reach out to take it I brush his fingers and feel that spark flow through my fingers and up my arm. I smile tightly and gulp the water down.

"No no, don't gulp it. You need to drink it slowly or you're going to make yourself sick." Dimitri gasped, reaching forward and moving the cup away from my lips. I sputter on the water, not thinking about how hard it is to swallow. He sits down on the side of the bed and rubs my back while I try to catch my breath. I can feel the heat from his hard, calloused hand rubbing against the smooth skin of my bare back where the fabric of the hospital has gaped apart.

"What are you doing here?"

He looks at me with such intensity, I'm not sure whether to shrink back against it or allow the feelings that I've tried to shove down to creep back up from the shadows.

"I had to make sure you were ok. I needed to know that you were going to wake up. Seeing you like that, laying on the floor... it felt like I couldn't breathe. I was so scared that I wasn't going to get you to the hospital in time." he says with a shaky breath, his voice thick with the Russian accent that I have missed hearing as he places his hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb under my eye.

I stare up at him, wondering if I am hallucinating. Just weeks ago he told me that he had given up on me, that he didn't want anything to do with me and he wanted to act as if in the past never happened. I want to voice my thoughts, but they are stuck in my throat.

"...Why did you not come and get me the minute she woke up, Abe?!"

My head snaps towards the door as I hear a Scottish voice carry up the hall towards my door. No doubt my mother was barreling towards my room. Dimitri stands up abruptly and clears his throat and then straightens his shirt just in time for the door of my room to swing open.

My mother walks briskly into the room, with no regards to my father or the nurse trying to stop her and does the most unexpected thing. Wraps her arms around me and cries.

"Oh my wee bairn," she whispers into the crook of my neck, running her hand

over my hair. All I can do is look up at the other people in the room in disbelief, as the cold, guarded, famous Guardian Janine Hathaway cries unashamedly. My father just smirks and winks at me, while I wrap my arms around my mom and try to comfort her.

Peaking on from around the door I can see Lissa and Christian. Lissa has tears in her eyes, but the look on her face doesn't seem to completely match the tears, and Christian looks relieved to see me.

"Mom you're starting to suffocate me," I grunt as she squeezes me tighter into her arms.

"Oh, sorry," she says as she releases me, sitting up straight and looking at me coolly.

"What happened? Why would you try to kill yourself Rosemarie?" my mother says to me bluntly. There goes the compassion I saw a few moments ago. I sigh and lean back against the bed as my traitorous eyes flicker from Lissa to Dimitri. Lissa shows no signs of noticing my glance, but Dimitri does. Guilt passes through his eyes along with what looks like shame.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself, Mom. I really don't want to talk about it right now." I huff crossing my arms over my chest, wincing as I start to notice the discomfort in my whole body.

The room goes quiet as looks are passed between the people present and I wish the ground would open and swallow me whole. I fell like a failure as a guardian, I should be better than to let my emotions get the best of me regardless of the amount of darkness Lissa is creating.

"I'm going to go let the doctor know you're awake Rose," Dimitri says breaking the stifling silence in the room. I nod as he walks out, not that he saw it.

"Oh Rose, I was so worried! When Dimitri said that something had happened, I wanted to get to you as soon as possible but the doctor wouldn't let me." Lissa cried as she wedged herself between my mom and me, wrapping her thin arms around me. I rest my chin on her shoulder and look at Christian to see a frown work onto his face but the moment he realized that I was looking at him, he slipped a smile in its place. Weird.

"I'm glad to see that you are finally awake Guardian Hathaway," a graying moroi woman says as she walks into the room. She walks up to my bed and turns my head towards her as she looks in my eyes and checks my vitals, Dimitri slipping in behind her and taking a stance against the wall.

"What happened exactly? Abe said I was in a coma? I'm confused."

"Your blood carries your oxygen through your body, when you have a traumatic injury all the body starts to move to protect your heart and brain but when you start to lose too much it will all move to the heart to try and keep it beating. When this happens, your organs start to suffocate in a sense. It's uncommon to lapse into a coma, but you lost almost 70% of your blood volume. We were lucky you still had minimal brain activity when you got here. Luckily, being a dhampir means you heal a little faster than most."

I look at her, and I know she can tell that I barely retained any of that information. She chuckles and asks how I am feeling.

"To be honest, really tired and sore. I feel like my limbs are made of lead."

"That is to be expected your body is trying to heal," the doctor says, nodding. "I think it would be best if we let you rest, and your friends and family can come back tomorrow."

I agree with the doctor and she walks out, along with both my parents after they hug me goodbye. Lissa steps forward again and gives a light hug while using a little spirit to help with the pain in my limbs.

"I'll see you later Rose," she whispers, standing up and waiting for Christian by the door. He stands in one spot awkwardly for a moment before coming over to me and giving me a one-arm hug and a small smile. After they leave the only one left in the room is Dimitri.

I fidget with my toes a little while trying to avoid his heavy gaze bearing down on me.

"Are you ok?"

I look up at him, slightly stunned by the stupidity of his question. Of course, I'm not ok. I drank almost a whole bottle of brandy and slit my wrists open. But there is something in his voice that keeps me from voicing this thought. Something that sounds familiar and like the person I used to know. Instead, I just shrug.

He stands at the wall for a few more moments look at me with his arms crossed over his chest before walking towards the door.

"Sleep well Rose," he says quietly before exiting. I heave a sigh, wishing that this was all just a bad dream. But that would be too easy. I roll over onto my side and curl my legs up to my chest and let a few tears roll down my cheeks.