A Little Too Much, A Little Too Deep

Chapter 19

I sit in Dr. Carson's office for my weekly session, leg bouncing impatiently as I stare out the window. He has been asking about Dimitri during out last few meetings and I do not know what exactly to tell him.

"You know, aside from the fact that you ended up giving me counselling sessions, you aren't like Deidre. All she did was answer my questions with questions, never really helping," I say as I cross my leg over the other and place my hands in my lap, subtly stroking my bump that appeared to be larger this morning, which sent me into a fit of tears that took my mother a half-hour to pull me out of with Dimitri's help.

My mother gave him quite an earful when she walked into my apartment after the ultrasound appointment to see him sitting on my couch, and he took the verbal blows silently before explaining himself to my mother. She is still frosty with him but doesn't throw snide comments now, just a few glares and huffs.

"Rose, these aren't counselling sessions. We are solely here to check progress and I am here to listen if you need to verbally work out your thoughts. Although, I am glad to see you're eating again. You were starting to look a little thin," he says with a small chuckle, dropping his note pad on the arm of the chair he is sitting on. "But I can see that something is seriously weighing on your mind. I bring Dimitri up, you tense up, and you keep rubbing your hand on your stomach. Want to voice your concerns?"

I snap my eyes to his and my breath falters in my chest, he noticed all that? Coming up on ten weeks, I'm starting to prepare to tell Lissa and Christian, but I am still trying to find a way to tell them that it's Dimitri by some miracle.

"I can't, you wouldn't get it. It's a Spirit thing," I say shakily twisting my fingers roughly.

"I think you forget that I have a bit of a better understanding of Spirit than most, remember. I did observe my sister for years before she died," he says with a soft smile. Mauling this over in my head for a moment, I weigh the pros and cons of voicing what is going on.

"None of this leaves the room. You can't tell a single soul?" I ask quietly. He stands up and walks around the coffee table and sits down on the couch beside me, turning to give me his full attention.

"Doctor-patient confidentiality. I won't even write it in my notes."

I nod taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, turning my body towards him before swallowing, preparing to let it all out.

"When Dimitri and I got in the accident, I found out I am pregnant. But Dimitri is the only man I have ever been with. He thought I cheated and blew a gasket, which resulted in us not speaking for a few weeks. The only other people that know are my Mom and my friend Adrian - who is a Spirit user. He thinks it is because I was shadow kissed, and that Dimitri was restored, and Spirit runs through him too. Dimitri didn't even believe me until Adrian compelled me right in front of him to tell the truth."

I take a moment to catch my breath and gauge his reaction. His face shows his shock, but he quickly composes himself and gestures for me to continue.

"I don't know how to tell my friends without them assuming I cheated on him, and things between Dimitri and I are rocky because I'm so mad at him, but at the same time I understand why his mind went there immediately. He has been trying to make things up to me and I want to forgive him, but my heart still hurts for the way he reacted to me. Not to mention the messed-up dreams I have been having for the last few weeks and I just want him there at night. I just, ugh!" I exclaim slumping back in my seat with a large sigh, stroking my bump to try and comfort myself. Dr. Carson takes a few moments to absorb everything, studying me intently.

"How far along are you?"

"Ten weeks, with twins."

He nods his head and gets up and walks over to the bookcase behind us and skims through journals, opening one and flipping through it before closing it and pulling out another one. He does this for a few minutes before pausing and looking back up at me before closing the book and placing it where it belongs. The whole time I still there, calculating whether this is going to blow up in my face.