The Alchemist's Starling

How Times Can Change...

Chisa's POV

Time...

I've lost sense of it...

All I do, is sit and stare...

At what? Nothing.

The numb feeling has settled in my bones, overtaking my senses.

I feel... Nothing.

Just grief... At the loss of Chise. I just can't believe it, but I witnessed her death with my own eyes. And I saw her corpse.

The deep red blood, pooling around her; her ghostly white skin; her lifeless eyes... Each image is branded into my mind. Every time I blink, I see her. These dark images haunt me, and I can't escape them. And it hurts, it hurts...

It's like someone has ripped out my heart, leaving the gaping wound to bleed... it's a wound that won't heal. My hands stay wrapped around my torso, like I'm trying to hold myself together. But I'm already broken. A never-ending stream of tears leak from my eyes, but I don't wipe them away, there's no point. Nothing matters anymore.

There are times when I must be sleeping, because the same gruesome nightmare plagues me every time. The image of Chise being impaled by that monstrous limb, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. I wake up screaming every time, until a hand that smells like sand, covers my eyes. When that happens, a calmness washes over me, overpowering the numbness for just a few seconds until I'm silent. Then, the darkness of the hand is replaced by light and the numbness returns.

So I just sit and stare. I don't know what I'm sitting on or what I'm staring at. I don't move, I can't. There's no reason to. Every now and again I feel someone's presence. Their aura is dark, but I ignore them. They lift me, setting me on their lap. They play with my hair and hold me gently, like I'm a fragile doll - maybe I am. They whisper muddled words into my ear, but nothing sinks in. I hear bits and pieces, but nothing that pulls me out of this numb state.

"Just wait, puppy..."

"A Dragon's Curse..."

"Damned to die..."

"If all else fails... I could use it..."

"My sweet puppy..."

It's like I'm underwater, unable to reach the surface to breathe air. But the uneasy, tight feeling in my chest, telling me that I need to breathe, remains. I wish for death. I hope it comes soon to take me away. I can't live like this anymore. I want to be with Chise... She's in a better place, and I want to join her.

But how do I join her, if I can't move? I have no motivation to do anything. All of my thoughts involve Chise, and how I allowed her to die...

How I killed her...

More time passes. I don't know how much. The sky darkens, then brightens. Days pass, as do nights. But how many, I cannot say. Time no longer makes sense to me. But why should it? I just want my time to run out so I can be with my sister.

Suddenly, a dark shadow envelopes me and large hands scoop me up. I flinch, sudden movements still scare me. I'm pulled against a chest and a hand touches my cheek, stroking it gently, while my eyes remain unfocused, like I'm still staring into the abyss of Chise's lifeless eyes. He murmurs some incoherent words, which I don't concentrate on. There is a short silence, before he finally speaks words that I understand, but wish I didn't.

"The deal has been terminated..."

After he spoke those chilling words he tossed me to the ground. Immediately, a sharp, searing pain, spreads across my abdomen. I shrieked, writhing in pain. Beads of sweat covered my forehead, mingling with my tears.