Hanako's Misfortunes

Dealing And Healing Are Different

It was the day. THE day. The tension held in his boundary made his head pound.

'it's your fault.'

Hanako's hands trembled as he held them together and stared outside, making his palms sweaty.

'go to sleep, it makes you feel better.'

But if he did he knew what would happen after. He wouldn't wake up for a week, being he rarely rested.

'but it's so much better than dealing with...with this.'

He gave a shaky sigh and looked down at the familiar flooring, his view warped and liquid fell.

'Tsuchigomori said it wasn't your fault. Everyone had told you that what happened was self defense. But it just...'

"It...it doesn't feel that way..." He choked out quietly.

He sat down and put his knees to his chest and his head resting on his legs, while wrapping his arms around his legs. He quietly sobbed, no noise was heard.

'you don't even deserve to cry. You're not here because you were murdered by your own family.' he trembled and shook his head lightly.

This is the only day he allows himself to cry. Everytime he runs into him,it sets his heart into a frenzy. Fear hits every second.

'i shouldn't be acting like the victim here. Everytime he touches me it burns, I hate it...I hate it so much.'

He let's out a small whimper and sobs.
He would never admit it, but sometimes he wished he can go back and change everything. And he knows that somehow he can but he knew how much he would risk if he does that.

'i wouldn't have met them...' he sniffles and brings his head up, and wipes his tears.

He used to think about this day everyday. For fifty or more years, the same day replayed in his head and never left.

'this...this is the one year where i've been distracted. Where i've been a bit more....happy.'

'should I tell them?'

He flinched at the thought and quickly shook his head.

'no. I don't want to.'

He's not ready yet. That's too much to unveil to his newfound friends.

'they....would probably tell me the same thing. How it's not my fault. She was the only one who told me something different...'

His face etched into a worried frown as he settled his arms above his knees and set his head down.

'i just want to sleep...I'm so tired.' he slightly began to doze off in the quietness of the bathroom.

But his thoughts just couldn't let him. That day replayed in his head, and everything is so clear. The blood, the knife, his f a c e. Some more tears slipped down without him even noticing.

'i don't know what I'm looking for anymore. Atone for my sins? How? For how long? I'm tired. What will happen when Yashiro and Kou leave? Will I still be here? I don't want to be here after they leave.' he gave a sniffle

He let himself cry some more and eventually succumbed to sleeping and faded away.

He didn't want to be seen today.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🔪~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N
Another short but sweet one! I feel like if you leave angst to be long it looses feeling. So that's why I think I'll leave some of them to be short if I feel like it.