Competition in your heart! [YiZhan/ZhanYi FF]✔️

-29- Overdue explanation

-29- Overdue explanation

It's already the middle of the week and our performance is in two days. My group trains like crazy from morning to evening and apart from meals there is nothing in between.

We are in competition mode and we don't let anything or anyone distract us. Well, until the evening, when I can be with Zhan and then I don't care about anyone else for a while.

I would like to spend more time with Zhan, especially since our farewell is imminent. I'm not really letting it near me yet and I'm trying to repress it, but soon I won't be able to.

But tonight I put the gloomy thoughts aside once again and spend the evening with Zhan. We had been to the cinema and watched an action movie. But it was not very interesting.

On the way back to the hostel we stopped at a bus stop. Not that we waited for a bus, we just wanted to stay a little bit between us.

Because with our people from our groups and our managers we were indeed only alone when we sleep.

I admit that I miss the physical closeness to Zhan very much. Because although we share a room, we cannot share a bed. While our managers showed humanity and let us sleep in one room, we are not allowed to sleep in one bed.

And yes, they actually control that! Alternating at different times of the night, they come into the room at different times of the night and check that we are really in our beds. Each in his own of course.

I would like to be back in the barn and in our nest. There we were for ourselves and nobody controlled us. We were close to each other and after the nest got walls, we could have sex without the others noticing. But I'm drifting again.

So we were sitting in the bus stop when Zhan looks at me and says, "I just remembered when you first confessed your feelings to me. And you said something I've been wanting to ask you for a long time."

I already suspected what he meant and nodded. "You mean because of the fact that I've loved you for two years?"

Zhan nods.

"It's true. I should have explained it to you long ago. It was long overdue."

" Somehow yes. But I'd been denying it, too. Somehow there was always something going on and I hadn't thought about it. But just now it came back to me." Said Zhan thoughtfully.

I take a deep breath and explain it to him. "I saw you at that time in TV. The talent show you participated in was also broadcast in Korea. Or rather, I received the TV station. And I followed the show every week, I even called to vote. I saw you in the show and you had me under your spell right away. I adored you and your voice. And out of that rapture I started to crush on you and that quickly became love. I always wished that I could meet you once or that we could do something together. At that time I was 16 years old and my manager was totally against my crush on you. He found that out by accident. And because he was afraid that some outsider might have noticed something, he arranged fake dates with girls about my age. I had to meet them somewhere, we sat together and pretended to date, then they sent a photographer and the pictures ended up in different editorial offices. It sucked back then."

Zhan nodded. "I see. Did you know we were entering the competition, so before the start?"

"No, I was totally surprised when I saw you on stage. But I was also immediately happy."

"Okay. Let me tell you something, too. When you were in Shanghai with your group seven months ago, I was backstage. With a mask on, though. You took me for an employee and asked me if I knew a Xiao Zhan. I lowered my head and disguised my voice before saying I didn't know him. But I didn't remember that until yesterday. I had no idea who you were then, so I quickly forgot."