Competition in your heart! [YiZhan/ZhanYi FF]✔️

-38- Nothing works

-38- Nothing works

"...even sorrow will be then, weak and small." A quote from the song. A very beautiful and actually already very old song. "...nothing is infinite, so let's face it..." The song is translated: When I went away 

It's hard to believe, but we are nearing the end of this book and will finally get to know not only the secret of Zhan, but also what connects the two with the past. At least one of them is already solved in this chapter. In the next chapter we get to know about the past of the two. And in chapter 40, which will be the last chapter, we will see what the two will do with their knowledge.

***

It's already been three months since Zhan and I saw each other for the last time. And even talking on the phone only works once in a while. I'm going crazy here. How come we can't even manage to talk on the phone once a day?

Why do sometimes five to ten days go by between our phone calls? Is it perhaps too much to want to hear my boyfriend's voice at least once a day?

Even when I was on vacation for a few days to attend my brother's wedding in France, Zhan and I couldn't make a phone call.

And it's not like it doesn't work for me. No, it's Zhan. Again and again something from his side comes in between, again and again he cancels me just before, in a message.

I don't know what else to do. In the first month Zhan wanted to come and visit me, we talked on the phone at least every two days and were still happy. But unfortunately I had to cancel his visit, because we had to do two gigs at very short term.

And since then we rarely talk anymore. And when we do, then Zhan is usually quiet and listens to me how I talk. I don't know what is going on with him. When I wanted to visit him, he wrote me that it was a bad time.

Then the next time, he said he had something urgent to take care of.

Damn, it's been three months. How long do I have to wait to see Zhan again? How long do I have to wait to tell him what my agency said? When can I tell him I'll be back in Beijing soon?

Yes, I'm moving back to Beijing! I will only perform with the group from time to time and otherwise I will pursue my own career. I will be a host in a weekly show, besides Wang Han. I will sing my own songs. Video recordings for advertising, pictures for magazines.

I will do whatever is necessary to be in Beijing and therefore with Zhan. Back in my home country, with my family and the person who means the most to me.

Hell, we never even talked on our birthdays. Just a quick message from Zhan saying, "Sorry I can't call you today." And when I tried to call him four days later for his birthday, he didn't answer. Later he wrote that they had a concert and he couldn't get in touch.

But I still couldn't tell Zhan anything, I wanted to tell him when I see him. But apparently Zhan keeps pulling away from me. Even my parents, who often invited him to their home, got nothing but refusal.

Recently Zhan wrote me that they have many gigs and are constantly on the road. And then I read in the internet from some fans that Zhan spent a week at home with his family. He hadn't told me anything about his vacation and I wanted to know why.

But he just said he couldn't explain it now. I am at the end with my advice and the only thing I can think of now is to fly to Beijing without telling him before. Thanks to his fans I always know where he is at the moment.