A Dance Of Blades and Hearts

if walls could talk

"really?? " song asks as we sparr and I nod

"in a week?"

"all the rulers of each nation will start arriving in the palace, everything is in place, most of our ships are already retreating back to peria, it's pretty much over already, I just need to make the declaration and end this, it's still a carefully guarded secret though " I say, sword swinging at him and he dodges

"what about the rebels? What if they try something? "

"I have the naiteu wokeo watching them, and I plan to make a deal "

"Your heart is gold" song says slightly surprised and I snicker

"they spill about the parchment, I give them their land back and absorb them of their sins "

Songs eyes widen in understanding as he aims for my legs

"so this is about uncle? You want to figure out the truth directly " he states more than asks and I nod

"I want to trust him song, I don't know what I'll do if i'm wrong about this, I don't want to believe I've been wrong about him my entire life " I say grimly

we had stopped sparing and were now facing each other, sword sticks held by our sides

"so you're going to put everything on the line and trust him? " he states more than asks and I nod, his eyes soften

"then if you feel that way why have you been avoiding him?" he asks, gaze curious and I wince, shrugging

"I feel like I'm lying to his face, everything time I look at him, everything i see him I have half the mind to straight up ask him, but even that would be a new level of stupid he himself would berate me for" I say, frustration itched into my voice

"true" he replies

"but if you're choosing to trust your uncle, then trust him completely " I frown at him

"so you're saying I should tell him? "I ask puzzled

"no orlan, I wish you could, but you're not just his nephew, you're an emperor who is pretty much responsible for more than one nation, you should be careful " he says seriously and I nod

********
Clen pours a shot along with lu fehn, before they both pick up the cups and chug the liquor in one go, for the third time in a row, I shake my head at them and lia giggles.

They had ambushed me earlier today, insisting we had to get out of the palace and have fun, but I knew they did this cuz they're worried, and I honestly don't deserve them

I had managed to dig myself into a hole since the last time I saw the emperor, guilt threatening to drown me along with everything else

everyday since the day I realized how I feel about him, I've been wishing things were different, that my life wasn't so complicated, that we weren't on opposing sides of a never ending battle

I had been lying to him, to all of them, since the first day.

I don't deserve their friendship, and I don't deserve the way he cares about me

A part of my head silently whispers that he doesn't just care about me,

remembering the look in his eyes the last time we blew up at each other and everything that has happened between us and I immediately squash the thought, thinking about what this is between us just makes my heart tighten painfully.

"Kiara? " lu fehn says and I look towards him, he's pushing a cup in my direction and wiggling his eyebrows, sheepish smile on his face and I find myself smiling, rolling my eyes