Chapters of my life

Broken

The weeks started jumbling up together and it felt like I hadn't seen the girls in ages. The knock on the front door pulled me from my daydream. Alex, Amy, Krystel, Patricia and Ellie were standing at my door in fall outfits. They all came in and ordered me to get changed because I needed to get out of the house. I came out in my fall outfit and grab my purse. Leo gave me a kiss and said to drive safe and I gave Alexander the biggest hug nearly squishing the life out of him. On the way to the mall we listened to Lewis Capaldi and James Arthur. The first shop we went into was H&M and we got fall dresses and nice coats to match. Amy got decorations for her new apartment. She moved to LA. Krystel got more art supplies and I got new stationary. Ellie disappeared with some guy. Patricia was looking wedding cakes and was tasting different flavour. I headed to the next shop when I noticed Luke's last photo shoot hanging up in one of the stores. I just sat on the ground and stared at it. Tears started to roll down my face landing on my shirt. Warm arms wrapped me and guided me onto a warm chest. I didn't struggle or resist I just gave up and I let go. The photo made me want to give up and fall into the darkness. His smile shown in the image represented his love for life and family. Once I was out of my daze, I noticed it was Leo who was holding me and giving me warmth. We just sat and gazed at the poster. Once I had enough strength I got up and asked the shop if I could contact the CEO. It surprised me when the lady working gave the number to me straight away. My hands were shaking so much that Leo had to dial the number into my phone. They answered straight away and agreed to take the posters down in every store. We got a copy for the lady running the store. I couldn't stop crying that day. It had finally sunk in that Luke was no longer with us and there was no way I could bring him back. Before we had even gotten back to the car, I fell into Leo's arms crying. I said that "I'm sorry I'm sorry". I didn't know what I was sorry for, but I was sorry. We just sat on the floor of the car park and hugged. When we got home, I just sat on the couch and cried all the tears I had in me. My makeup was a mess and my shirt were soaked through. I didn't eat dinner, nor did I go to bed and sleep. I just wondered why lord, why did you take Luke from earth, Was it really his time? My head was racing with questions, so I got in my car and drove for hours. I drove to Sacramento, where Luke was laid to rest. I found Luke and just sat. For some reason just sitting with him helped me find peace with my thoughts. I watched the sun rise over the horizon. I had sat at his grave all night. I knew that Leo would be getting up soon, so I should've headed home but instead I just sat in my soaked pj's on the grass covered in morning dew wondering. I had so many questions, yet I knew they would remain unanswered. I got up and just drove until I got to Krystel's were I just sat on her kerb. A few hours later she came outside with a coffee for both of us in a robe. You could really see her bump now and the way she wobbled around. She just sat and comforted me until I told her I drove all the way to Sacramento and sat at Luke's grave. I got up and hugged her before I got into the car and drove off.