DIFFERENT

15 -- Oui

My Dearest Lovelies, 

Trouble in the paradise that is the Magic Kingdom of New York ?  For our Princes, is it the End of the Beginning, or the Beginning of the End ?  Or just a fresh new start ?  Read on, my dearest, read on ....... 

Laurent woke with a start, taking a minute to get his bearings, realising he was on the floor, shivering cold, in pitch black darkness.  He reached for his phone, still in his jacket pocket, to find the time, only for his fingers to find the box he had shoved back in there the night before, and only for tears to come again.   He pulled his phone out, squinting at it's too bright glare.  It was 5.05 a.m.  God, how long had he lain there, how long had they ...... whatever the hell it was.  He pushed himself up to his knees, staggering to his feet as his ankles and knees cracked, making him wince slightly in pain.  Symptoms of his second love, his occupational hazard.

He realised his chest hurt, his head hurt, and his heart not only hurt, it was split in two.  He looked in the direction of their bedroom door in the gloom that surrounded him, head tilted slightly, his arms loose at his side.  He couldn't imagine, but on second thoughts, yes, he could imagine the pain going on in that room.  But there was one thing he was determined not to do.  No matter what Larry thought of him, or of himself, or whatever their relationship was now, or would be, Laurent would not let him go through it alone.  He would not.  He could not.  

He took off his jacket, throwing it somewhere, and went to the kitchen to get himself a bottle of water and two painkillers.  He swallowed them down, then took the bottle and two more painkillers with him to the bedroom.  He slowly, carefully opened the bedroom door, trying to be as quiet as he could, closing it softly behind him.  He gazed down at a sleeping Larry, his breath catching and still hiccuping slightly, from all the crying that went on that room, and in this one.  

After placing the bottle of water and tablets on a bedside table, Laurent quietly shed all his clothes except for his boxers, and crept under the covers, to gently scooch up behind his love.  He had wondered about whether he should sleep in the guest room, but he just didn't want to.  He knew Larry would probably want to be alone for a while, but he knew in his heart that neither of them wanted to wake up without the other, knowing they were both still in the same apartment.  No matter how hard they fought, how much they had cried, the awful things they might have said to one another, all it would take was one touch, one glance, one smile to know that one still loved the other, and always would.  There would never be any doubt.  They would figure out the details out later.  

Listening carefully to his breathing, Laurent gently laid his arm over Larry's waist, putting the palm of his hand on his soft skin, holding the bump that fit his hand so perfectly.  And, as if on cue, he felt a little kick against his hand as it rested there.  He kept still for moment, being rewarded for his patience with another tiny kick.

"I'm sorry I make your daddy so sad, little one."  he whispered into Larry's back, "We have to try to fix that, don't we ?"  He wanted to cry, so badly, unremittingly, for these moments, right here, that might be lost to him, for the fear that Larry would take them away.  And he knew he would never be able to cope with that kind of loss, of either of them.  He buried his face in the back of Larry's neck, sniffing as quietly as he could.  

"Hi"  Larry's voice was tiny and small, but soft and kind.

"Hi"  Laurent answered back, moving up into his back and neck slightly.  "Are you OK ?"  he asked.

"No"  Larry answered honestly "But I will be".  Laurent couldn't help himself.

"Will WE be OK ?"  Larry could tell Laurent was holding his breath waiting for the his answer, and he couldn't help a small smile push past his lips.