DIFFERENT

24 -- Last Stand .....

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to EJane101, as a thank you for their help and inspiration for the words for this chapter.  I hope you deem it worthy. 

My Dearest Readers, 

Prince Laurent's dream, oh my !  Why would he do such a thing ?! (lol)  We can just hope that our handsome Princes can control their emotions today ...... 

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence" he repeated in his head.  With his eyes closed, Larry took a deep breath in, held it, then exhaled just as deeply.  That bit was easy, he thought.  Quiet.  Peaceful.  Calm.  Silence.  He could do that.

As he sat on the edge of their bed, just as it was getting light, almost meditatively he let the words of his morning Desiderata spill into his thoughts.  He had loved the didactic poem for years.  He had learned it, and Rudyard Kipling's "If" by heart.  He would recite parts of them both, when necessary, to calm himself.  To help him find reason when there was none, meaning when he could find none, a shred of happiness when there was none to be found. 

"As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons".  Not so easy, that one.  Not today.  Today of all days.  Ah, but there was the rub. 

"Without Surrender".  So in other words, he surmised, if you can only be on good terms with someone by surrendering to their whim, their way of thinking, on their terms, then don't do it.  You would lose yourself.

---   Don't do it, Larry   ---  a voice told him.    Never Surrender !  Winston Churchill had said.  At least Churchill and Max Ehrmann were on his side today.  And Laurent.  Laurent would always be on his side.  That man was his saviour, he was sure of it.  

"Avoid loud and aggressive persons ;  they are vexatious to the spirit"  he remembered.  Yeah, not gonna happen.  Not today.

--  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --

They ate breakfast in silence, but held one another's hand, just the same.  After he was done, Laurent walked to the sink to rinse his juice glass, and placed it in the top rack of the dishwasher.  As he walked away, he and Larry touched fingertips briefly as they passed each other, Larry placing his plate in the bottom rack, closing the door.  He walked quietly to the living room, putting some paperwork in his portfolio, that he had retrieved from the coffee table.  Laurent walked out of their bedroom, putting his jacket on as he walked, readying to leave.  It was now 9:15, and their meeting was at 10:00. Neither of them had said a word to each other since their usual "Good Morning"s at 8:00 am. Not out of awkwardness or not wanting to, there was just no need.  There was nothing more to say, what could be said right now ?  It had all been said, yelled, shouted, cried, broken down over.

Peace in Silence.

"Are you ready, mon amour ?"  Laurent asked Larry quietly, standing in front of him, straightening the lapels of his suit jacket, picking a piece of lint from his collar.  He then looked directly into Larry's eyes, the usual mischievous sparkle dulled a little, stoicism taking it's place, temporarily.  Laurent couldn't help but pull him close then, suddenly, hurriedly, clamouring at Larry's back to pull him closer, as if the closer the proximity of their bodies to one another, the less hurt, the less pain Larry would feel.  Laurent wanted to literally block out everything awful that would happen today, make himself Larry's emotional shield.  He wished more than anything, more than his life, that he could do that for him.  Just for today.  

Laurent had arranged for them to use his car and driver today, fully aware that neither of them would be in a fit state to drive anywhere after the meeting.  They both sat in the back seat of the limo, their hands joined loosely between them, Laurent stroking the back of Larry's hand reassuringly.  Larry was caressing their son, his hand moving in slow, gentle circles, letting little one know everything was OK, there was no need to be anxious.  To PLEASE give daddy a break.  He was 7 months pregnant now, and looked it.  He also more than felt it.  His back and his legs ached constantly, his feet and ankles were swollen, he needed to pee every ten minutes.  And tired ?  He didn't know a person could BE that tired.  All the time.  Sleep all day and all night, seemingly, and still be THAT tired.