𝘙𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘴 // 𝙍𝙚𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙚 {Completed}

✨cologne!✨

song: gotta be a reason- Alec Benjamin

Can we get an F in the chat for both Eddie and Richie in this chapter.

Eddie quickly gave up on trying to sleep when the digital clock by his bed showed it was four in the morning. He was exhausted when he went to bed, and he still is but he just couldn't seem to keep his eyes closed. He knew he'd probably end up snoozing in class this afternoon. 

Eddie figured he'd been lying there long enough, unraveling from his sheets, Eddie walked into his small en-suite. it was a simple white tiled bathroom, little lavender flowers decorated the tile, a bath was on the left, a sink on the right and a toilet in the middle against the back wall. it was simple but it was home. a little window rested above the toilet, Eddie would often open it and sit on top of the toilet, letting the breeze seep in as he held a hot chocolate in his hands. he would close his eyes, the wind would batter against his eyelashes and he would drift into a world where he's not so alone, where he's doing what he loves with hopefully someone he loves, someone who will love him back.

Eddie stood in the middle of the bathroom, the sun had started to rise causing a soft orange glow to bounce off the walls of the small space. Eddie stood, the lights off and the floor cold. he stared at himself in the mirror above the sink, repeating the words over and over in his head.

There's gotta be a reason that i'm here on earth,

There's gotta be a reason for the dust and the dirt.

The changing of the seasons never changed my hurt,

so what's it worth? what's it worth?

That's what Eddie always told himself, or more so asked, if all he was going to do was hurt then what is it worth living? why is he here? He knew he was going into a dark place but he couldn't seem to stop himself. Eddie stared at himself, his reflection looked pathetic to him, he was teary eyed, face flushed, he hated himself. Eddie wondered if what he saw was what others saw aswell, that could be why he always sat alone in his college classes or never got invited out with any of his co workers from the bar. 

Eddie looked down at his feet, he couldn't even hold eye contact with himself. Turning around, he switched the shower on and without even waiting for it to get warm he stepped in, his shirt and pyjama shorts getting soaked in the stinging cold of the shower. Eddie stood there, face expressionless as the cold water beat down on his back.

The cold stung against his back and sent an uneasy shiver across his whole body, Eddie's eyes welled up with tears. Not because of the cold but just because he had had enough. Warmness had taken over the cold but still Eddie's body racked with sobs. He hugged his frail body, folding in on himself wanting the pain to stop. Slowly, Eddie lowered himself until he was on his knees, hugging himself as burning hot water cascaded down his neck and legs, making them go a bright blistering red.  

By the time Eddie was out of the shower and dressed it was already 5:37 am and he could hear Mike and Bill cluttering around in the kitchen. Eddie wanted to make breakfast that morning, he wanted to be a good host but he guessed that Mike had beat him to it, he did make really good pancakes. 

Eddie dabbed on some cherry lip gloss before heading out of his bedroom, towards the kitchen area. "Hey Ed, ya' alright?" Mike asked cheerfully, for a second Eddie's pulse spiked, he wondered if Mike had heard him in the shower but at the look of Mike's joyful exterior Eddie knew that it was just him being nice. "uh, yep Mikey, how are you?" Mike chuckled and nodded his head at Eddie "alright." 

Eddie was glad to see his friends looking so happy, Even Bill had a grin plastered across his pale features. Eddie felt like he could finally breathe around his friends, they cleared the air and made everything happy and light for him. Eddie smiled and took in the delicious smell floating around the kitchen. "pancakes?"