Living For Myself (Sequel)

No Emoji

Right as I went to respond to her, a notification popped up on my screen, hindering my ability to text back. As a groan escaped my lips, I checked to see what it was that so desperately had to distract me. My eyes widened as I then realized it was my mom who had messaged me. She almost never texts me anymore, she hates doing it and would rather call me, so it was a bit of a shock to see her come up onto my screen.

"Would you like to come home for dinner tonight? I know you probably have work to do, but I would love your company." It read. I chuckled to myself, wondering if she finally noticed that she and her four cats, two dogs, and one ferret were the only things living in the house. It has been over a month though since I left to go back to college, plus I've been craving some of her food. The cafeteria sucks ass.

"Sure, I'll be leaving here around 6:20pm then and be there by 7:00pm." She quickly responded by liking my text message and sending me a thumbs up... which then makes me cringe every single time because I personally hate when my mom uses emojis. It just seems like something that absolutely should not happen. Just thinking about the whole thing makes me shake with complete disgust... ok, maybe not that much, but still.

No emoji, just no.

It does make me rather curious, wondering about why my mom suddenly wants me to come eat dinner with her. There's something off about it. It honestly probably anything serious, but there's just the subtle inkling that it could potentially be bad. Who knows? Not me.

Anyways, after the whole mom-emoji thing, I went back to message Winter about the... date shall I say? It's the first time that I'm not the one to ask another person out. The message she sent read over and over in my mind to the point where a grin spread across my face as if some unknown demon possessed me. Wait, nope, that's definitely me.

"Wanna meet about 5ish in the evening?" The next message from her read. I chuckled and quickly responded back to her.

"That honestly sounds great." I said. It felt amazing for once to have a date with someone. It hasn't felt like this for a long time. When was the last time...?

You know when it was. It was with her. You know, the one you're forgetting about right now? The one you don't care about anymore? That girl? What happened to her?

"Goddamn it. I just had to fuck it up didn't you?" I questioned myself, "How the hell am I even arguing with myself like this? It's absolutely insane."

You are insane, we've covered that awhile ago. You're not normal, you're not sane, and you're not anyone at this point. You think you're living for yourself, but your just doing her bidding like an idiot.

"You're wrong. You're completely wrong. I remember her, I live through her and not for her, and I am someone. I'm myself. Stop taking that away from when when all you are is a voice that tries to tear me down. Just shut up for once! Leave me alone!" My voice quivered and shook as I screamed. The voice in the back of my head seemed to laugh, enjoying the fact it got a rise out of me. It said nothing more, leaving as fast as it had come, so I put my phone down to relax.

In front of the car was an average sized guy with a ball cap on, staring right into my car to watch my whole entire freak out. I don't blame him for doing it though, it was a free show that was just missing the dinner to go along with it.

"Jesus, maybe I am insane..." I whispered to myself, thinking back on the whole episode I just had. Instead of dwelling on it though, I went on inside the dorm with my laptop and phone in hand. My hand slammed the door to my room, scaring my roommate who jumped in the seat she sat in.

"Fucking hell, Adelle! You scared the living shit out of me!" She shouted.

"Sorry Krista, I didn't mean to. It just kinda.. happened." I said with a soft chuckle, expecting her to laugh along. She didn't which then caused me to tense up as she usually let it go when I freaked out. "Are you alright? You seem on edge..." I said flat out, walking closer to her. Krista looked up to me, her long dark brunette hair falling right onto her face as she began to sob loudly.

"Christopher dumped me today and I don't know why!" She cried out, coming over to me to hold onto as she wept into my shirt. This always happens with her. She dates the cool jock who supposedly has been in love with her for "so very long" and then pulls the bullshit excuse about how "he's not feeling it anymore". This is the... fifth guy she has tried to seriously date in the last month? I think anyways, I don't know anymore.

"I'm sorry Krista, I'm sure someone else will come along." I said to make her calm down. She sniffled and nodded, letting go of me to turn around and collapse back onto the seat she had been sitting on before I came in. Since I still have awhile before it was time to leave to go to my mom's house, maybe a nap would be the best option... or I could message Winter... hmm...

Without thinking anymore, I pulled the phone back out, tossed the laptop on my bed as I entered my room, and jumped right into my bed. With the message replaying in my head over and over again, I gathered up the courage to message her back finally.

"Yeah, sure, I'd love that!"