Living For Myself (Sequel)

Stepping Stones

*A/N: Hey guys... I know it's been awhile since I last updated and I wanted to catch anyone up on some things that might actually care about what's been happening. I've been involved in a series of accidents, all of them involving ER visits and leaving physical and mental in capabilities on my part, but I'm going to try and slowly start releasing more chapters when I feel well and have the time to, so thank you for being so patient with me and I hope you all have a good Christmas!*

It was nearing 5pm as I reached the store in order to pick up the necessary ingredients for a simple seafood dish as well as, possibly, pasta and salad for Winter and I. Rather than going on to explain in excruciating detail as to how I heroically sought after the finest grocery ingredients, meaning, you know, looking at the clearly labeled sections in the grocery store for the items I needed for my dishes, I'll leave it to the imagination as to how "difficult" it was to find what all I needed.

I continuously went over the plan in my head multiple times as to exactly what I would even say whenever, if she even did at all, Winter would come home. Should it be a romantic setting? Serious? Polite? It's so confusing! After all the time that had passed, my desires are still so set on my first true love that never came to full bloom...

Where did that time go when we were still together? Was there really no way I could've prevented what had happened? What if things had been different and Nora lived? Would Winter and I have met at all then? All these questions and still no answers had come to mind for me. No one prepares you for something like this to happen, just like school doesn't teach you how to balance checks or change a flat tire. I was thrown into an unfamiliar situation and, basically, left to suffer the consequences of what was to come of it.

The world is too mysterious and uncontrollable, no one would ever be prepped for such a thing to happen... yet here I am, trying to do exactly that. While I race from the store back to the dorm to prep a dinner that Winter may or may not like, let alone even show up to, my sanity is dropping fast. It's scary, but I'm almost even proud of the steps I've been taking to make it up to Winter...

Somewhere deep inside of me, I know my feelings for her are genuine, but they're being clouded by the guilt I have left from Nora. Guilt that i have no right to live a normal life and move on, but yet I want to convince myself otherwise of that to somehow give the late Nora some peace. Instead, all I've been during is hurting Winter more and causing more strain on myself.

Finally, when I returned to the dorm, I took the opportunity of Winter being out to cook up the food and pour some wine. Besides that, I lit some candles in the room, found a movie we would both like to watch, and proceeded on with completing the side dishes. It took about a total of forty-five minutes to finish everything, but it all seemed to have come out great!

As I set the plates down on the table I'm front of the chairs, the front door slowly swung open as my eyes were glued to the figure who entered. It was Winter. She was visibly exhausted no doubt from her day, but her eyes shit directly to me as she then glanced at all the food laid out on the table as well as the wine and lit candles.

"...What's all this?" She asked me, shaken but also enticed by the steaming food. I smiled and beckoned her to come over and sit beside me to eat.

"I baked some tilapia in a garlic butter sauce, cooked up garlic Parmesan pasta, and prepared a side salad for us. Does that sound alright?" I asked, shaking from fear at the thought of her not liking the idea. Winter smiled warmly, but glanced down at the floor.

"Thanks Adelle, but you didn't need to do this... You told me how you felt not too long ago, so I'd rather not get my hopes up and—"

"I know what I said, but I also want to remind you that my feelings for you are a separate being from that of what I felt and still feel for Nora," My voice quivered, "I'm still confused on the whole ordeal, but I want to do things right by you and show you how much I care. I do have feelings for you, strong feelings at that, and I wouldn't want to lose you over my own careless mistake. I'm not pressuring you or anything, but I think a nice dinner at the very least would help clear things up a bit..." I smiled. Winter let out a small sigh but walked over to me and sat down, looking at the food with a slight grin.

"I'll take you up on that then, it does smell pretty good... I didn't even know you knew how to cook like this!" She exclaimed, shoving a piece of the fish into her mouth almost instantly.

"Well... I had to learn how to after what had happened because I distanced myself from my family and lived alone for quite awhile while school wasn't in session, so I know how to do normal dishes like this..." I admitted, taking a sip of the wine. Winter nodded, placing the plate down onto the table as she looked back at me with longing eyes.

"Listen... I'm sorry for being so distant lately... I get it's hard for you to comprehend your own feelings at this time, and I wasn't being very understanding of that. I want to take things little by little together with you and build our relationship bad up again if there's still any hope for that." She sighed, placing her hands into her lap as if she was upset with herself. I shook my head and took her hands in mine while looking her directly in her eyes.

"No... I'm the one who should be sorry. I wasn't being considerate of you and hiding away a big secret, which hurt you more than I ever wanted to do. I messed things up bad between us, and I want an opportunity to fix them. I don't want to lose you, Winter." I said, rubbing my thumbs over her small and rough knuckles. She giggled, leaning over to lay her head onto my shoulder with a satisfied smile. We didn't speak too much after that and, instead, enjoyed our food and the atmosphere, but it was a step in the right direction to fix what I had messed up...