Living For Myself (Sequel)

Talk

My hands grew clammy quickly enough as I sat across from Winter whilst she looked directly into my eyes. Her smile was both warming and terrifying, based on how she acted towards that guy earlier. I had to admit though, it was hot. She seemed to take a liking to my threatening too as she scooted closer to me every passing moment. Winter then reached across the small table, taking my hand in hers.

"So, are you going to tell me about all these bruises you have?" She asked me, batting her eyes like she needed to seduce me to make me tell her. I laughed, sliding my hand slowly out of hers before clearing my throat. Right then, everything flew out of my mouth that had happened in the past month. My mom, my father, the car accident, everything. After I had finished, Winter looked shocked and taken back by what all she had heard from me. "God... that's a lot of shit to go through in just a month," she sighed, "Adelle, you have some really shitty luck." Winter bluntly finished. I couldn't help but let out a snort and agree with her.

This past month has been shitty. So shitty that I can't believe what all had happened to me. I'm not saying I have the worst luck... but it does seem like my life tends to have its fucking hellish moments. For all I know, I could die soon too. That would be the cherry on top of this depressing disaster that is my life. Knock on wood. I might hate my life and myself, but that does not mean that I'm ready to die yet. At least not until I go to another rock festival. Hello moshpit, here I come... I'd rather go out by that anyways.

"Adelle?" Winter's voice called out. I finally snapped back into reality with a blush face as I realized how close she was to me. I just noticed, but Winter had on a loose tank top with some bandanas around her wrists this entire time. She was leaning over the table and her face was just centimeters away from mine while her tank top drooped low, showing her bright blue sports bra. My face felt hotter than before, causing me to move a little away from Winter to save myself from one of those cliche nosebleeds.

"Y-yeah, sorry... I kinda got lost in my own thoughts for a moment. I'm so sorry Winter." I stammered out, looking away to avoid direct eye contact with her. She giggled and sat back in her seat, holding in what seemed to be laughter.

"Ah, so you're a tit girl, huh?" She asked straight out. My cheeks became redder as I tried to hide my face in my shirt.

"It isn't fair of you to show off your cleavage and then use your tits against me, ok? I'm so sorry for having eyes and admiring things I find beautiful other than those shits on your chest." I huffed at her, faking a frown to try and cool myself off. Winter chuckled again, crossing her arms as she scooted herself back closer against the table.

"I like you already, Adelle. It's fun to tease you." She said, leaning in closer to me once more, "Then again, you do seem like a chick magnet." I smiled and laughed at her suggestion and waved it away.

"Please, I'm the epitome of awkwardness and confusion. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore with my life." I said, remembering why I continued with the pharmacy program. My smile disappeared soon after as well as my joy. "I should um... go study and catch up on my classes... I can't afford to lose the progress I made for—" My mind froze, leaving my mouth hanging wide open as all my thoughts had, once again, been released.

She can't know. I can't tell her. I don't want to drive her away. I don't want to lose another person. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be by myself. I can't be left alone with it...

Oh? Look at you being smart for once. No matter what you do though, you will always be alone. Nobody wants you, you're a nuisance. You're a walking disaster.

No, that's not true, I'm liked at the very least...

Not by your mom apparently. She chose your deadbeat father over you. That speaks volumes enough about how much you mean to her. You mean nothing.

That's not—

"Hello, Adelle?" I snapped out of my trace and stared back at Winter. I had begun to hyperventilate without my knowledge as beads of sweat rolled down my forehead and onto the table below. "Please, talk to me. What else is wrong? I know there's more to your story than you're letting on..." She begged me.

I tried to reach my arm out to her only to stop myself from doing so. I don't know Winter that well, I don't want to fuck up another possible relationship... I need to wait before I say anything to her, at least for now.

"I'm fine." I replied sternly. Winter gazed at me for a few seconds before her concerned look turned more into an upset one.

"Fine, I get it, you don't trust me." She said, grabbing her coffee and standing up. I stood up too, hobbling as fast as I could after her.

"Winter, wait! It's not that, I promise. I'm just... scared. I can't help it." She turned around with a blank expression and stared right at me.

"Then come talk to me when you're ready to, there's no point in talking in person until you're ready to move on from the past and make for a better future," she sighed, "I want to help you, Adelle. I really like you already and I just want to do all I can for you, but, with the way things are right now, I can't force you to come clean to me. You need more time to heal, so I'll be here to listen when you're ready to talk." Before I could say anything else, Winter had already begun to walk away again towards the exit of the cafe, leaving me standing in the middle of the floor alone...