The Eternal Rest (Completed)

Chapter 39: Refuge

"Bright I'm tired." I answered as I take his hands off me.

I just feel like having another role coaster of emotions with him tonight wouldn't do me any good. I enjoyed having dinner with him and flirting with him again felt a little good but staying for the night is another issue.

"I thought you want me back?" he asked and smirked at me.

I don't know if he's just testing me or he just wants to play with my feelings. Either way, I'm not giving up on him yet. I just need to rest and prepare myself for another day of showing him that I still care.

You can't really force a person to like you back nor trust you that easily despite the given circumstances. Also, you don't give up on things that you value the most. People who will know what I'm doing and thinking would probably say that I'm an idiot or a martyr for doing this but I couldn't care less because as long as there's a chance to be with Bright then I would gladly grab it - but not tonight. I'm tired in all aspects and I need rest.

"I want you back, yes but I don't have the energy for another blow, Bright." I replied as his harsh words hunted me once again. I bitterly smiled as I tried to ignore the pain. "Have a good night, my ray of light."

I saw nothing in his eyes as I stared at him - hoping for any reaction but I didn't see anything. I bit my lip as I opened the door and finally stepped out of his house.

Hours, days, weeks, months... I lost count on how long I've been doing the same things everyday. There's no progress in my plan to get him back. Not even a nibble.

I thought I was strong to be here but these days, my faith in him and my feelings were shaking. I needed to grip harder than I have just to stay and have more patience for him. I have never wanted something so bad like this before - just now. Just this once, I want to get him back by all means but my ways have been used up in the past months.

"Are you okay?" asked Sinee as she took a sip on her cocktail. "Is you heart still okay?"

It's a Sunday afternoon and Bright doesn't have an appointment for today so it's also my free time. Sinee invited me in her parents' house to swim and chill for the whole day.

"I'm fine." I lied. I keep on telling myself that, but I honestly I don't know about it anymore.

"Bish... you know I'm supportive of you right?" she asked and I nodded. "But seeing how things are going on between you two... I don't think you should continue pursuing him."

"Sinee..."

"I know okay? I know that you are still in love with him but sometimes the things that we lost are better left unfound than to open another wave of memories that can hurt us." she held my hand and smiled at me like she's trying to cheer me up. "I want your happiness, Win but seeing you for five months now, following Bright and you tried everything you could... isn't it enough? Don't you think it's time for you to stop? I mean... maybe you are just not meant for each other."

I looked at her and I admit that her words hurt. It hurt because it's the painful truth that I've been ignoring for months now. I have thought about that but I kept on ignoring the signs. I kept on ignoring the painful truth.

For the first time I wanted to rest. I wanted to eternally forget about all the pain and be at ease just for a while. But then... my stubborn heart won't give in.

"Should I?" I asked and she heaved a sigh as she let go of my hand and looked at me like I'm the most naive person she's ever met.

"It's up for you to decide but just so you know, your relationship with Bright is toxic. It's either you get affected or him. Did you know that he's fighting with his father for months now?"