Speared My Heart

Recurring Dream

"Ok Kyla lets go ahead and check your eyes and see how you're doing since the surgery"

I still couldn't see. I saw some shadows and I was able to tell day from night, but other than that it was the same. I sat as he shined light into my eyes.  I blinked and I could see. I blinked again I couldn't see and he turned off the lights

"Follow my pen Kyla"

I hate when they ask that...obviously I can't follow shit. The doctor started talking but I couldn't hear him. Was I going deaf too? What the hell was happening to me? 

"I'm sorry Kyla but it seems this is the best your vision is going to get. We did what we could and your eyes have healed from the surgery, but you will not regain your sight."

I felt my eyes well up and a large shadow standing before me. I knew it was Joe and I threw my arms around him and cried. He put his hand on the back of my head, but said nothing and did nothing. He pulled me back and took a step back away from me. He helped get me down from the table and he started walking. He was walking so fast and I couldn't keep up. I fell and he left me there. I couldn't see so I had my hand on the wall as I walked along.  I reached the elevator and went to step on but the doors closed and then opened. I stepped forward and was violently pulled back

"Kyla you have to be careful"

"Phil?"

"I TOLD YOU HE WAS MINE!!"

"April?"

She laughed and I felt a shove and then I was falling. I didn't know where because I couldn't see it. I tried to scream, but nothing would come out. Suddenly there were strong arms around me holding me close. I smiled and for the first time in a long time felt safe and happy. I just wish I could see who it was. He caressed my cheek and gave me a familiar gentle kiss

"I love you Kyla"

"I love you too Jon"

My arm was grabbed and I was pulled away

"What are you doing Kyla?"

"I'm sorry Joe..I...I didn't know....I....couldn't see....I love you. I love you so much. You're everything to me."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      My eyes flew open. I could tell the light in the room was dim. It must've been late afternoon. I sat up and felt around for my phone. I only had it because of Siri. I didn't make phone calls or text because half of the time it didn't understand me and would want me to choose which person I was trying to contact...great idea for the blind girl.

"What is the current time?"

"It's 4:45pm"

I threw my legs over the side and slowly got off of the bed. OK It's 15 steps to the door. I started counting and reached for the door handle. I ran my hand along the wall as I walked down the hallway towards the living room. The late afternoon shadows cast on the wall were confusing me and I walked into a side table.

"Hey you're awake. Joe should be home soon. You OK? That sounded like it hurt."

"I'm fine Corey. Thanks"

Corey has been staying here to help me every so often. I spend a lot of time alone so it's nice to have the company. Plus it makes me happy to have a conversation or even someone acknowledge I exist. Things with Joe are worse than ever and I don't quite know what to do. I feel so alone and trapped inside myself.  I made my way over to the couch and sat down

"I had that dream again"

"Same ending?"

"No. Everything was the same, but the end this time had Joe pulling me away from Jon and asking what I was doing."

"Kyla are you in love with Jon?"

I shook my head "No. I don't know why I said it in my dream."

"Are you sure?  Deep down somewhere inside maybe?"

I shrugged my shoulders "I'm sure I don't. Maybe I'm just missing the company or something."

"Alright..."

He didn't buy it. I could tell by his tone he thinks I'm lying to him. The front door unlocked. It opened and closed and I heard a bag drop on the floor. I grinned from ear to ear. I missed him so much. I was glad he was finally home. I heard him and Corey talking for a second. He said goodbye and left leaving Joe and I alone. I got up and felt my way to where I heard the voices

"Joe?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are you?"

"Sitting in the chair by the couch."

I looked down and sighed. "Why didn't you tell me so I wouldn't have gotten up. I mean I walked right by you and you said nothing."

"How was I supposed to know you'd be looking for me? Next time ask before you get up."

I swallowed hard hoping to keep from crying. He's changed towards me. Especially since we found out the surgery didn't do much to repair the damage. I felt my way back towards the couch and stopped in front of the chair he was sitting in. He did nothing. He said nothing.

"I missed you."

"Oh. Hold on my phone is ringing"