Speared My Heart

Dear Jon

"Colby I need your help. I don't know what to do anymore. Jon and I had one disagreement in 2 years and I feel like we're falling apart over it. He stays away and he's so distant. What do I do? I've said that I was sorry about a million times. I can't apologize anymore. I feel like he doesn't love me anymore and I'm so scared he's going to leave me"

"Kyla you need to tell him...honestly....everything. He needs to know how you truly feel and what you want."

"I don't understand. I thought he knew."

"Look Kyla when he's not home he's here at my place. He loves you Kyla...he loves you so much. I don't think I've ever seen him this way with anyone. He's just hurt because he thinks that deep down you want Joe back and that kills him. I know that's not true and you know that's not true, but he doesn't. You have to tell him. You both have let Joe drive a wedge between you and you've both said the same thing to me. He thinks you don't love him....he thinks you're going to leave. You both need to sit down and have a heart to heart because this is completely fixable Kyla. He's never going to know if you don't tell him."

I stood in the shower with the hot water running over me and thinking about the phone conversation I'd had with Colby last night. I was desperate to fix this relationship. I don't know what I'd do without him. I was so nervous and scared. I have everything I want to say written down in a letter, but I'm not sure he'll sit down with me long enough to listen.

Jon's POV:

I sighed as I walked up to the front door. I didn't know what to think anymore. A month ago everything made sense and now it's all up in the air. Everything was so great for so long and then Joe comes waltzing back in the picture and it just screwed everything up. And the part that frustrates me is that I let him get between us. I started doubting her feelings for me just as she doubted mine. I opened the door and walked in. It was quiet and it didn't look like anyone was home. I carried my bag to the bedroom and saw my laundry neatly folded and sitting on my side of the bed. I half smiled as I set my bag by the closet and realized she was taking a shower. I thought about sneaking a peek or joining her, but decided it probably wasn't a good idea.  She walked around the corner, towel drying her dark blonde hair and wearing barely anything. It was taking everything in me to not have my way with her. We haven't talked much in the last month let alone touch at all. She looked up and half smiled

"Hi. You're home early"

"Yeah. Flight got in early for once. I'm just gonna change and then..."

"Jon...wait. Can we please talk...please?"

I looked down and thought about it for a second. I looked up at her pleading hazel eyes and I nodded. She disappeared for a second and came back wearing an over-sized sweatshirt and holding a folded piece of paper. We went into the living room and sat down on the couch facing each other.

"What's this about?"

"Uh well...I have something to read to you. I wrote a letter...it's easier for me to get it all out this way than try to remember speaking on the fly. Is that OK?"

I nodded "uh...yeah...I mean whatever works for you I guess"

"K. Um all I ask is that you hear me out and let me finish before you leave or whatever."

"Alright."

"I'm gonna start...K?"

"Go ahead."

She cleared her throat and quickly wiped at her eyes...tears already? She hasn't even started yet

"Dear Jon,

This is my last ditch effort to fix this because I know we both feel it slipping away. I don't know a lot about a lot of things in this world, but I know how much I love you. This isn't easy for me because I know that this is my fault...that I cast a shadow of doubt on our relationship when I should've stuck to my gut. We've both let Joe drive a wedge between us. We both let him in our heads and it's driven us apart. It kills me because until 4 weeks ago my life was so perfect, so happy, so complete and it was all because of you and I ruined it.

Very few people in this world mean something to me. We've been friends for a long time and our friendship turned into something I'd never felt before. You were the only person to make the effort to be my friend when I arrived in WWE. The only person to make me feel that no matter how awkward, clumsy or ridiculous I was that it was OK and that you'd accept me regardless. You laughed at my stupid jokes that no one else laughed at. Right from the start we seemed to just get each other. And you were such a good friend and supported me and helped me and stuck up for me when things with Joe fell apart. You held me close when I cried and stuck by me when I went blind. You saw me for me. You didn't feel sorry for me or treat me badly. When everyone else pushed me aside or made me feel like a burden you pulled me closer. I could still be Kyla with you. Jon you were there for so many important things in my life in the past 2 years. You showed me unconditional love and respect and gave me so much.

My whole life was filled with uncertainty. Growing up I never knew if I was going to be adopted or if my foster parents wanted me for more than a few months. I never knew if there was something better for me. I was thrown into a world of uncertainty...no home, no money, no job, only the clothes on my back...nothing. Two people in this world have shown me a level of kindness I never knew existed. One is Corey...who took me in and gave me hope and introduced me to wrestling. The other is you. You've done so much for me. SO MUCH. I can't ever begin to repay you.

What I'm trying to say is that I love you. I love you more than anything in this whole world. You make my life whole. My life is so empty and so dead without you. I miss you. I miss you holding me. I miss your smile and your laugh and the way you'd come home and wrap your arms around me and kiss my neck and then tickle me. I miss the way you hold my hand and tell me you love me and only me. The way your blue eyes look into mine and make my heart skip a beat. Please. You have to see how important you are to me and how much you mean to me. I love you forever and ever. There's no one in this world that I see but you. No one else matters to me...."

Kyla's POV:

He didn't even let me finish. He took my hand and threw the letter aside and pulled me to him and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and played with his hair as he pulled me onto his lap. I pulled back to catch my breath and smiled. I straddled him as I pulled off his shirt. His hands ran up my thighs and under my sweatshirt, unhooking my bra and removing the shirt and bra at the same time. A soft moan escaped my lips as he massaged my left breast and sucked on the other. I rocked my hips against him and he moaned and grabbed my hips guiding the pace. He pulled me down to him and nibbled my lower lip asking for entry.  Our tongues danced in rhythm as he suddenly dominated the kiss and plunged his tongue deeper. I whimpered and grabbed the back of the couch behind him about to finish. He rolled me off of his lap and onto my back. He removed the rest of our clothes and positioned himself between my legs. My nails dug into his shoulders as he thrust himself in slowly at first and then quickened the pace. He grabbed the arm rest above my head and thrust deeper and faster. I cried out and arched my back as we finished. He rest his forehead on mine and looked in my eyes trying to catch his breath

"I love you Ky...very very much"

He softly kissed me and smiled

"I love you too Jon. More than you know. Please stay."

"I'm not going anywhere...ever"

I grinned and kissed him again