Speared My Heart

Take Me Back

"Ky I'm going to go out for about an hour. I'll be back and then we'll go OK?"

I nodded and pecked his lips before he walked out of the door. I was so excited!! This was going to be an amazing day. I didn't want to wait and I didn't care about the dress and flowers and all that crap. It was all for show anyway. I went into my closet and dug around to see if I MAYBE had a white dress to wear. I found a dress that I felt would work and started getting ready. I was in the middle of putting on my make up when I heard the doorbell

"Just a minute!!!"  I yelled from the bathroom

I made my way to the door and opened it. I stood there stunned for a second and then got a huge pit feeling in my stomach.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to check on you. I was worried."

"I'm fine. I'm really busy so I should get back to what I'm doing."

I started to close the door and he grabbed the door to stop me

"Can we talk Kyla?  Is Jon home?"

"No, he'll be back soon though."

I stepped aside and let him inside. I shouldn't have let him in, but as long as it was just to talk for a few minutes it wasn't going to hurt I suppose. We went into the living room and sat down. He kept staring at me and it made me uncomfortable.

"Joe stop staring. What did you want to come here for?"

"Kyla I think you're making a HUGE mistake. I just think Jon isn't right for you. I know he makes you happy and you think you love him, but you belong with someone who loves you and will be faithful to you"

I gave him a confused look "Huh? Jon loves me. He wouldn't do anything to hurt me. He's not you. Are you trying to say I belong with you?  Because if that's what you're trying to say then you're wrong."

"Kyla he cheats on you all of the time while on the road. He's a player and he lies to you all of the time. You're so naive and blinded by love you refuse to see it. I see it all of the time Kyla. He's an asshole and if you marry him your life is going to be full of misery and heartache. I'm trying to save you from making the biggest mistake of your life.  Take me back Kyla...I know things were horrible for a while, but I promise...."

"I think you need to leave."

"Kyla..."

"LEAVE JOE"

"Alright....Alright I'll go, but you'll regret it if you marry him. I'm telling you Kyla...mistake!"

"Just go"

I sat down on the couch and felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I tried to hold them back but the lump in my throat was unbearable. Was there truth behind what Joe was telling me or was this just some trick to make me doubt Jon so I'll go back to him? I was so confused. Jon would never hurt me right? I mean he's never given me a reason to doubt him or not trust him. I mean all of the things he's done for me...why would someone do all of those things to help me if he didn't love me?  Why would he ask me to marry him if he didn't love me?? 

"Kyla....why are you crying? What's wrong?"

I quickly wiped the tears away and looked up and smiled at him.  He sat down next to me and turned to face me. I put my head down. I didn't want to confront him and show him that I was suddenly doubting him, but I needed to know

"Jon...you love me right?  Like truly, honestly, undoubtedly forever and ever with all of your heart love me?"

"Of course Kyla I wouldn't ask you to marry me if I didn't. What is this about? Why are you asking all of the sudden?"

"You'll be mad if I tell you"

"No, I'll be mad if you don't tell me and I find out later"

"Joe was here"

I saw him tense up in anger and my heart started to race. I was afraid to say any more...I had already said too much

"Why was he here?" he said calmly through his teeth

"He wanted to talk and he told me I was making a mistake...that you cheat on me when you're on the road and that you really don't love me and..."

"And you believe him..."

"No I don't, but..."

"Kyla if you didn't believe him you wouldn't have asked"

"Jon please....I'm sorry..."

"You let him get inside your head. I'm really disappointed in you right now Kyla. Come on...would I waste even a fraction of my time doing half of the things I do for you if I didn't love you?  Would I have stayed up with you all night last night if I didn't?  Would I have asked you to marry me?  Kyla you are my whole world and if you can't see that then we have a problem."

I was so ashamed of myself and embarrassed. I got up and went into the bedroom, sat on the bed and sobbed. I was such an idiot. I shouldn't have believed him or even entertained the idea of believing him. Jon came in and sat next to me and pulled me to him and held me

"I don't think we should get married today Kyla. I don't think it's a good idea. I think you need to figure things out. I need you to know that I am crazy about you. The stuff Joe told you was true 2 years ago except I never cheated because there was no one to cheat on. Kyla my entire heart and soul belong to you and only you. You're everything to me...I thought you knew that."

"I'm so sorry Jon. Please don't hate me. I didn't mean to. I just...I don't know. I'm an idiot for even saying anything"

"Kyla I don't hate you. I could never ever hate you. It's OK Ky. It's better to get this out now then after we're married."

"You still want to marry me?"

"Yes Kyla I still want to marry you...as long as you still want to marry me. Kyla you have to stop letting Joe get in your head. He's trying to drive us apart because he's jealous. You look really beautiful. I love you Kyla...that hasn't and will never change"

"I love you too Jon...so so so much. I'm so sorry"

"I know you're sorry Ky. Don't worry about it anymore.  Lets see where the day takes us OK. I'm just kind of hurt right now."