The Billionaire's Little Secret | RBS 2

Chapter 23

ARIA

Alexus started to act weirder each day. Hindi ko mapin-point kung ano iyon pero alam ko sa sarili ko na may biglang nagbago sa kanya.

He became sweet and a little more clingier? I don't know! And he's making my heart flutter!

Katulad na lang ngayon, nasa sapa kami at kasalukuyang naliligo. Nasa kabilang parte naman sila Gabriella at Dom na magkatabing nakaupo habang nakatali sa puno.

I felt his head leaned on my shoulder. Nakayakap ang mga braso niya sa bewang ko. My back is pressed on his bare chest. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilang mamula dahil half naked siya! Hindi ako sanay!

Tahimik lang ako habang hinahayaan siya sa ginagawa niya. Wala din naman akong reklamo dahil alam ko sa sarili kong gusto ko rin ang nararamdaman ko. Yes. I love him. I don't know when or how, basta nagmamahal na lang ulit ako.

Kahit may takot sa sarili kong baka mangyari ulit ang ginawa ni Raven, this time, I'll give him the chance to prove himself if he's worthy of my heart. Hindi ko muna ipapaalam sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko hanggat hindi ko nakikita sa kanya na mahal niya rin ako.

Dahil kahit anong sweetness ang mayroon kayo, you will always want to have validation. Label. Some people will always want label.

Is it important? For me, yes. The reason why many people ended up getting hurt by the person they love, is because they're entering a relationship which isn't a relationship at all. It's a two way confirmation. Both need to be validated. The real relationship will give you a place and position in someone's life. Hindi yung maguguluhan kung ano ba kayo.

Like, kayo ba?

Siguro.

Single ka ba? Or in a relationship?

Not sure.

Mahal ka ba?

Medyo.

Hindi ba't walang kasiguraduhan? Pag magmamahal ka, make sure you won't be falling into a deadly cliff.

Pero paano naman yung mga nagmamahal ng taong hindi naman sila kayang mahalin?

Loving is a gentle feeling at the same time ruthless. You can't love a person without getting hurt. It's part of the process. And maybe God has another plan for you. Just don't lose hope and force things according to your will.

And if you're feeling lonely, don't ever think no one is loving you. There are billions of people in the world, like the stars in the sky, I'm sure you'll find your moon.

"What are you thinking?"

Alexus's hoarse voice pulled me out of my reverie. Natawa na lang ako sa mga sinasabi ko.

Hindi ko ibig sabihin na lahat yan ay base sa experience, minsan kasi common sense lang at appreciation. Self reflection. Self love. Self value.

"Nothing that will make you interested." I smiled. Parang kasing hindi siya yung tipo ng lalaki na interested sa mga usapang tungkol sa love.

"Tell me then..." I felt him moved.

Umikot siya papunta sa harap ko. Napatitig ako sa asul niyang mga mata. There's something different in his eyes. May kakaibang kislap ang mya iyon at hindi ko mapigilang tingnan.

He wrapped his hands on my waist again. Nakalubog kami sa tubig at nakasalalay sa kanya ang pagkalutang ko dahil hindi ko abot ang ilalim ng sapa.

I held his arms. Bumaba ang mga mata ko sa adam's apple niyang gumalaw.

"Have you... fell in love before?" I asked. Nakatingin lang ako sa mga katawan naming magkadikit dahil yakap niya ang bewang ko.

There's something that flashed his eyes. I felt his muscles stiffened by my question. Did I asked the wrong question?

"O-okay lang kahit hindi mo na sagutin. It's just a random thought." Bawi ko agad. Baka kasi ma-offend siya pag ituloy ko pa.

I know when to stop my curiosity and I know my limits prior to someone else's private life. Talagang naitanong ko lang iyon.

Pero aaminin ko rin sa sarili ko na curious nga ako kung nagmahal na ba siya.

Mabigat ang mga titig niya sakin. I squeezed his arms.

"Yes. Twice." He whispered. Nagulat ako nang sumagot siya. Napa-O na lang ang bibig ko at hindi na nagtanong. He will talk if he wants to. I won't force him.

"I only loved two woman in my past," Simula niya. Tahimik lang akong nagmamasid sa kanya.

He looked away when I stare at him intensely.

"First, my mother. When I was a kid, my mom is the kind of mother who's a perfectionist. She wants me to be the most perfect son in the world. I did well in my exams, quizzes, assignments, anything. Because it's the only way I know to have her attention."

Pain flashed in his eyes. I felt a sudden kick on my chest when his eyes started to water. Is he crying?

Marahan kong nilapad ang kamay ko sa magkabilang pisngi niya. Hinarap ko siya sakin ngunit ayaw niyang tumingin ng diretso. I wiped the tears that tried to fall on his cheeks.

"She's not the affectionate type of person. Pero sabi ko sa sarili ko noon, okay lang. That I'm fine with it, 'cause I know she'll love me when I aced everything I do. And I did. But one day, my parents had a huge fight and it made my mother left us. Me and Alrius lived with my dad for years. I tried to beg her to come back but I'm too late. She's already married." Tuloy tuloy niyang kuwento.

Nasasaktan akong makita siyang nasasaktan.

"After that, I swore to myself to never love again. I became a playboy and played girls' heart. I fuck and leave. I fuck, then leave again. But someone came into my life like a storm and pulled my out of my darkness. I met, Maria." He gulped hardly.

Maria...

"I changed when I learned to love her. Everything was perfect. I got my father's business, and I also have her. But life fucked me when I turned eighteen. My father arranged me to someone. He didn't told me the name. Even though I already have Maria, I need to follow my father's will. I agreed kahit hindi ko pa nakikilala ang babae."

"I thought that life ruined me. Until one day I learned that it was Maria whom I'll be marrying. I was happy! We both didn't care if it was an arranged marriage because we both love each other. But..." His eyes started to tear up again.

Ilang beses siyang huminga ng malalim bago nagpatuloy. Hindi ko alam kung maiinggit ako sa babaeng minahal niya, pero hindi ko na inisip iyon. Masamang ma-inggit dahil wala naman 'yon idudulot na mabuti. Masasaktan lang ako.

"Fuck! The guilt is killing me." Narinig kong bulong niya.

I held his chin and kiss him on his forehead.

I shook my head on him.

"You don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable, Alex. It's okay." I said in comfort. I wish to ease his pain.

Even though I'm getting eaten up by my curiosity, I don't want him to continue if he's hurting like this.

"No... I need to get this off my chest..."Sabi niya.

"Don't force it if you can't..."

Hinawakan ko ang kaliwang pisngi niya. He closed his eyes and leaned on my palms. He looked like a lost child right now.

I felt sad towards him. Hindi siguro maganda ang naging ending ng relasyon nila ni Maria.

He gulped.

"I... I... was the cause of her d-death..."