Don't make the same mistakes again

Brayleigh's intro

Brayleigh

To every high school girl, I was the girl of their dreams, the girl they wished they could be. I lived in a wealthy family. I was a cheerleader, the popular and hot type of girl in school. I was not only gifted to dance, but I could surf and I am a relatively fine singer and swimmer I am a model with endless rows of boys aged from young to old chasing me not only for autographs but to complete their love lives. 

What they do not know are the secrets in me that are dark. They creep in me like a prowling lion, ready to eat me whole. It grabs and yanks me to its depth of nothingness, and holds me there never letting me go.

I had never had a friend like Delilah, she was the most loving and caring friend. Though she was just known as someone who hangs out with me, everyone who knew her adored her friendly nature. She dated one of the most nicest, hottest, and popular guys. Even I couldn't get a man like hers, only dream. 

Delilah's brothers publicly blamed him, but no one knew why. Even though Delilah's parents seemed like they were determined never to blame him for her death, deep inside I knew they were only forcing to do so out of the will of everyone, because they wanted to give him face.

I never blamed him, but part of the world did, even those who loved him. 

Now, he is nothing but a depressed, regular kid from school, and no one saw anything in him anymore. The usual spark in him that Delilah powered, is no longer there, it was gone just like mine, except I didn't make it obvious.

The girls had asked me out again, and it always had to be one of those days I want to lie in bed and replay the memories with Delilah, and I wasn't playing bias or anything, but no one was up to that standard I considered as good and adored as compared to Delilah. Only she could make my gloomy days outshine the universe and only she brought the joy my parents never made an effort to give.

Right now, everyone thinks I'm one of the luckiest people on earth to be born in a family where my mum was an actor, and my dad was an owner of a huge bank in Hawaii, but what they don't know are the complications I face at home.

I used to have another brother, Carter, ended his life due to pressure in school. I had overlooked his schedule and he must have took the chance to... I had been very upset, Carter was my favorite person in this world, so ignorant and lovely. I adored him to the moon and back, but my parents didn't because he had dyslexia. My parents refused to acknowledge his condition and pretended it never exists in him.

Last month, I was supposed to pick Carter from school, I had a last minute appointment with one of the designers mum called in. Carlo had called me in reminding me Carter ends school early, that day. I tried to finish my work at the quickest pace but to no avail. The next thing I knew, Carlo was calling in informing me of the news of Carter jumping off the school ledge. I had collapsed on the spot refusing to stand back up, staying in that spot for what seemed like forever. My parents never blamed me because I was their dearest girl, but it wouldn't stop me from feeling hurt that I still have another brother who probably doesn't give a damn about me anymore, because he refuses to forgive me for the death of Carter.

Every night I lie in bed, I think of kissing his small forehead, wishing him good night telling him school will be fine, encouraging him to work a little harder, telling him he's the strongest and hearing his sweet and soft voice saying a simple, "I love you, thank you." That was all I asked for.

He turned thirteen, so it meant he just stepped into his cool kid zone, high school kicked into me hard, I no longer had to lie in bed dying of boredom. Instead, my schedule is tightly packed nowadays, and I usually studied till late nights tirelessly, not like my parents would care, all they ever cared was jobs and studies. It was freshman college year next year, and I was almost turning eighteen. I just got my driving license which meant hardly anyone was at home.