Great, I'm at the beach again! Would I ever have a better place to go? Ye. I answered my own question. My memories, when everything back then was fine.
I feel empty and weird without Mark now. I want to talk to someone about my ruined life, spill my feelings out to someone, cry to my heart's content and have a shoulder to lean on, but there were no tears shed, just this shocking and empty feeling. I wanted to rant to someone about everything, about moving to college, about Mark's death, but honestly the only person I want to talk to about his death is none other than Mark Allen Hall himself. I want to sulk with him, pick a movie and watch it together, to cheer up, to feel his lips on mine, but if he's back here, what is there to cry about? I thought about all those people I've lost, none made me feel as though I'm lost.
I remember Carter's adorable and innocent looks, Delilah's dazzling elegance and pure heart, but Mark... I remembered all the details, the smallest of them, his charm, his alluring smile and laughter, his ravishing physiques, stunning looks, and most lovingly, his pure obsession for me.
Awesome, Mark! You've done a great job in killing me inside. Where are you hiding now? Come out, come out wherever you are, playtime is over!
I hate this game, Mark. I want to hear your voice, touch you, feel you, know you're still with me.
"Hey prince charming, how's afterlife? Have you met God? Send my highest regards to Him, yea? I hope life isn't tough there, I mean how more hard can it be compared to life here, despite the fact that you miss me, I mean, if you do actually miss me." I actually feel better talking to nobody.
"Anyways, in your tough times know that I still love you, that I'd come running to you if you ever need me, like I would spiritually run to you, no shit." If only I was daring enough to drown myself in the waters below me, or get shot like Mark, or get run down by a car, dang, this would make my life so much easier!
"Our paths are diverged and my steps are heavier at your absence. Maybe in a few years or so, we can be together again, closer, happier, I hope. I see you everywhere I go, Mark, in the things we both love, in surfing, movies, the sand, the swing, the waters, your kisses, your couch, your room, your kitchen, your backyard, and damn it hurts!" I inhaled sharply, my breathing becoming ragged. I finally release sobs I've been holding back, tears streaming down my cheeks staining my face with salty tears.
I wish... I wish... just one wish, that you can be back here with me, telling me that everything will be alright. For you to embrace me, like the last time we had embrace in what I thought was eternal love.
My vision may have blurred but my memories remain clearer than a crystal clear lake. I recallsd the last time we watched a movie.
"You are the most special person I've ever met." Remember you stared at me like I was the only person in this world?
"From the first day we met, I knew you were different, in a good way. You are the strongest girl I've ever met. You would never allow your identity to depict your character. You fight, like my little warrior, always." I wish I could have told you earlier, but you are the strongest person in this world, Mark.
"I love you, Mark."
"I love you too." I can't hear you.
"Promise you will fight too, and you will stay with me till forever?"
"Of course." I still can't hear you.
"I want to die with you." I whispered.
"I want to live with you, marry you, take care of you and my kids, our kids." I still can't hear you, Mark.
YOU ARE READING
Don't make the same mistakes again
Romance(EDITING) (on-going) A girl broken by the death of her brother and her best friend seems fine on the outside but is torn from the inside. A boy struggling to handle the death of his girlfriend looks like he's on a good path of recovery but soon fal...
