A Place For Me

.23 Lists

Ch.23

I didn't like this moment at all. This was not what I ever had planned in my new life. Why do I have to go back there even if its to move on past the old me? I wanted to stay here and I wanted Ryker to understand that. I know my heath hasn't been the same but I feel this was not the best way to help me heal. 

Taking my eyes away from the doctor who sat before me I looked at Ryker directly. "No." It was a clear and firm word from me towards him. I could tell he felt I was being stubborn but this was unfair to me. 

The slight shifting of the doctor pulled my attention back to him. "Recently I have noticed that Mr. Kia is showing deep signs of trauma. He is tensing so tightly his nails hurt his hands. That is considered self harming. He mumbles to himself when he starts to stress. Instead of seeking out help he is starting to speak to himself about matters and I worry in time he will get an answer back. What worries me most is that he keeps refusing to do the soft breathing exercises." 

"I only cut into my palms once and everyone mumbles to themselves. I don't need to be calm with breathing because I am always calm. Doctor I understand you are here to help but you are reaching far from the truth of things." This man was digging in places I didn't want him to go. Over the last few days I hadn't even noticed I was being observed by him as he watched me heal. Of course I still had trauma but it wasn't big thing. A few cuddles with Ryker would fix all that. 

Ryker looked between us as we all sat around in the lavish living room. He was seated across from me and the doctor while we were side by side. Seeing that Ryker wasn't going to speak the doctor continued. "His body is healed and he is moving around with excellent motivation but....his mental health is at risk now. I really do think it would be great if we could go back and start healing from the source, and then over the most present matters. He should take a visit to his parents home for closure, and then after we should start therapy about what happened with his time at the brothel house, and then his kidnapping."  

Once again he was back to the matter of visiting my birthers. I refuse to go to such a place again. "No." My answer wouldn't budge no matter what. I didn't want therapy. I was fine and healed, he said so himself. I didn't like it one bit, he was too nosy.

The doctor looked at me, not giving Ryker a chance to speak. "I was informed about how you ended up at the brothel. Being sold by your parents after being just a few moons shy over adulthood must have been hard on you. You got closer from the ladies at the brothel house but you didn't get to stay long and heal with them because Mr. Ryker came in and-"

"And saved me. He came and saved me. I don't see what your problem with that is doctor." My tone had turned slightly hostile and I forced myself to calm down. "I just need to stay here with Ryker and that's all." I felt that was a good way to heal but the expression of the doctor told me he wasn't done yet. 

The man turned to Ryker and sat up more, silently declaring he would be heard. "If he does not do this therapy coarse he will cling onto you and slowly lose himself. He will question everything, even you. That can have a violent outcome. Since his first wave of trauma at a young age, when he was being beaten, he has been moving from thing to thing and person to person for a clutch. What happened with his kidnapping has made it worse. He needs to heal and I understand that maybe going back to his parents home is a bit too much for the first therapy session, but he should start his slow breathing immediately. For his own good Mr. Ryker, as his care taker, please listen to me." 

I could see the gears turning in Rykers head. He wanted to help me but he also didn't want to forced me to do anything. He wanted me to be willing to go through this process on my own. But I wasn't. I didn't see why I needed to do something so ridiculous. I am completely fine and this doctor was trying to ruin that. He has no idea how much Ryker has done for me. How happy I have been. I won't ever forgive this man for sticking his face where it isn't wanted. He should just burn...-"burn and go to hell."