I couldn't help but rush down to the kissing bridge when Richie told me he loved me. My 13 year old hormones were going crazy, and now that I look back I wish I never did. Because love doesn't exists. Love is just one big lie that hurts people until they just give up. And I guess i'm one of those people.
~A year earlier~
I dug into the old wood with the small pocket knife I took from my kitchen junk drawer. I smiled a big toothy smile as I carved '_+R'. I shoved the closed knife back into my pocket and looked at mine and Richie's initials as if it was a work of art. I stood up and got back onto my old silver bike. The hot sun shined down on me as I traveled through the streets of Derry.
"What if she finds out?" I tried to ignore the voice.
"Y/n won't find out." I stopped my bike and slowly back it up.
I saw Eddie and Richie together- Richie was leaning over Eddie as they tried to hide behind crates down an alley.
"What.,." I mumbled to myself in disbelief.
Richie cupped Eddie's cheek and kissed him. My eyes went wide as I starred at them. Their heads shot over to me when my father's pocketknife slipped out of my overalls pocket. I shook my head and began to pedal away, leaving the knife behind.
"Y/n!" Richie shouted after me.
I ignored him and continued on my way; tears streamed down my soft cheeks.
The fact that he likes boys didn't hurt, it was the fact he was using me to hide the fact he likes boys. He used the word 'love' as if it was nothing but a word, as if it didn't mean so much more than any other word. There was no way I would tell anyone what I saw, I know what people would do- what Bowers would do. They were my bestfriends and I wouldn't want to lose them. But I can't look at either of them, not now, not after that.
I carefully pushed my bike to the side of my small mint green house and leaned it against the rotting wood. I slowly walked up the front stairs and placed my hand on the doorknob.
"Hey y/n." I heard Bev say behind me.
I slowly turned around and faced her, my cheeks stained with tears.
"What's wrong?" She asked worried.
"Richie and I- we broke up." I told her.
She put her bike down on my lawn and quickly rushed to me in her floral dress. She pulled me into a hug and squeezed my body tightly.
"What happened?" She asked.
"It just didn't work." I told her. "I mean we're only 13, it wasn't ever going to last over a month."
She pulled away and frowned down at me.
"Let's go get some ice cream, I was just about to go meet Bill, Stan, and Mike there."
"Y-yeah ok." I lightly smiled.
~
We pushed our bikes into the bike racks right across the street from the ice cream shop. Beverly grabbed my hand, and we ran across the street. We walked into the cold store and immediately saw the three boys sitting at a table with their ice creams. As we walked over, they looked up and smiled.
"Hey Bev, I didn't know Y/n was joining us" Mike smiled.
"Yeah, it was kind of last minute." Bev told them. "We'll be right back."
We walked away from the boys and over to the counter.
"Can I get a strawberry ice cream in a cone please?" Beverly asked the teenage girl "What do you want Y/n?"
"I'll get a y/f/f in a cone please."
"That will be $0.87" The teenager told us.
I dug in my pocket and grabbed four quarters.
"You don't need to pay" Beverly put my hand down.
"It's fine, Bev." I smiled and handed the girl the change.
"I'm going to pay you back." Bev said as she took her ice cream from the girls hand.
"You don't need to Bev; you have already paid me back by inviting me here."
I grabbed my ice cream, and we walked back to the table. I sat down next to Stan while Beverly sat next to Bill across from me.
"So, h-how's Richie?" Bill asked, "I haven't s-seen him in a-a-a while."
"I think he's alright." I answered.
"You think?" Stanley furrowed his eyebrows.
"We um, just broke up and we're not really on speaking terms right now."
I continued to eat my ice cream as the four others chattered away. I looked up once I heard the bell on the door jingle.
"I'll see you later guys." I stood up and quickly threw my trash away.
"Wait Y/n-" Beverly started.
I looked down at the tile floor as I walked past Eddie and Richie
"Y/n-" Eddie touched my arm.
"Don't touch me." I whispered to him with my back to the four at the table "Don't talk to me. Not until I'm ready."
I continued to walk out of the ice cream shop and across the street. The sound of a horn pulled me back out of my thoughts as I quickly turned my head and stumbled backwards as the car came to a stop.
"Get out of the road!" The man yelled.
I quickly ran to the other end of the street and grabbed my bike.
Lies are what boys do, they lie and say they will be there but quickly pull the rug out from under your unsteady feet. Boy's don't know how to not lie. It's just in there genes.
