"I never want to see you again" she looked at me with pure hatred, her tears nearly falling from her eyes but her anger wouldn't allow them to.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" unlike her I was letting my tears run wild down my face, I kept rubbing my thumb with my fingers so hard, that's something I do when I'm about to have a panic attack "I never meant for any of this to happen".
She laughed a bitter laugh "of course you didn't".
"Please" I couldn't look her in the eye "I can't loose you".
"You already did" she slammed her front door on my face.
I walked away from her house, knowing I'll never be able to go inside again, how did I let this happen.
My life was so good. It finally felt like everything was falling into place.
I just couldn't stop crying. I felt heartbroken, I never thought I would feel a pain like this ever in my life.
I didn't know where else to go.
He opened the door with a smile "hey" he said.
I gave him a small smile "hey"
3 months before
"I don't think I should" I said unsure laying across my best friends bed.
"Oh come on Y/n you're always complaining about how you need the money to get you to college so how else are you going to get it" Zendaya said "plus a bunch of girls are doing it, you know Maddy Perez she's doing it so why can't you" she started typing on her laptop.
"But it's dangerous and just because Maddy is doing it doesn't mean I have to" I argued.
"You're safer because you won't be meeting up with men you'll be meeting up with women".
I lifted my head up to look at her sitting on her floor "are you calling women weak" I faked hurt "you should be ashamed".
"Don't go all feminist on me now Y/n/n, are you gonna do it or not".
"Fine, fine I suppose you can set my page up doesn't mean I have to go out to anyone straight away".
"You see now you're being smart but I was looking at some things you should do when going into this" she got up off of her floor and sat on her bed beside me.
"So there's ten steps, when you're first talking to them you must not send any nude photos straight away" she read the first one out.
"Say if I don't want to send any at all" I asked her.
"Well I think it will just depends on the person you're talking to but it also says to at least be texting them for about a week before going out to meet them, when making your profile don't put your real name in it and don't use a picture".
"But then how will they know they want to meet up with me" This was a lot to process, I've never tried to be a sugar baby or whatever you call it.
"Y/n these are horny women who will pay you just to show them attention, they will not care about what you look like plus you're hot and you know that" she playfully pushed me making me laugh.
Zendaya wasn't just my Best friend, she felt like a sister to me. She understood that my home life wasn't the best so she literally made me feel like a sister plus her mom is very chill about me being around all the time but, we all have problems me and my family did, her and her family did, that's just life.
"Ze I'm home" her mom called out when she got inside.
"In my room" Zendaya shouted down to her "today isn't a good day for her" she said making my eyebrows furrow.
"Why" I asked.
"It's her and my moms anniversary" was all she needed to say to me to make me understand fully, Zendaya's Mom had a bit of a drinking problem, it wasn't that bad just when her anniversary or her birthday, literally anything that came up that reminded her of her ex wouldn't be exactly the best day for her. I never judged because she literally lets me live in her house and also who am I to judge.
"Hey Y/n" she greeted me when she came into Zendaya's room, I know it's very bad but I would be lying if I said that my friends mother didn't come to my mind some nights when I couldn't sleep if you get what I mean, the key word there is 'some' it does not mean that I would ever try anything with her. It wasn't my fault either some nights when I stay over and get a glass of water from the kitchen and she would be there drunk, she's said some things to me that I would never tell Zendaya.
"Hey Miss Grande" I smiled at her.
"Y/n what did I say about you calling me that" she laughed and Zendaya looked embarrassed, she got embarrassed by her mom a lot, secretly I don't think she likes her but that doesn't mean she doesn't love her. You can love someone but not like them, it's a thing I swear.
I laughed "sorry Ariana" I feel bad for her mom in a way, she must get lonely a lot.
"Mom what did you want exactly" Zendaya said kind of annoyed because she wanted to finish setting up my page.
"I was just wondering if you girls wanted to order some food tonight" she smiled again at her daughter, this was the sort of thing she done, on night like tonight she wouldn't cook any food so she could drink her sorrows away.
"Yeah sure mom that would be great" she looked back at the laptop, I knew this hurt Zendaya to see her mom like that I mean how could it not.
"So we're just going to put in that you're eighteen" she continued to talk about the profile after her mom left the room "just because the app won't let you put seventeen down".
I put my hand on her shoulder in a comforting way, she never liked to talk about her problems because Zendaya was a problem solver but her mom was one problem she couldn't solve.
"Any messages yet" she asked during the movie about my page, I unlocked my phone to see no new notifications.
"Nothing" I sighed "this is stupid".
"It's not Y/n/n okay wait and you'll see, you'll have a bunch of grandma's trying to get into your pants by next week" that comment made me feel sick.
"Okay I need to get a drink after you saying that" I walked out of her room hearing her laughing.
Just before I walked into the kitchen I prayed that her mom wasn't in there, it was always so awkward how she would get with me especially since I'm sober and she's not.
When I walked in, there was no sight of Ariana thanking the heavens I walked over to the fridge to get a drink. My thank you was short lived when I heard the door open and in walked an intoxicated mother.
"Hey Y/n" she grabbed her bottle of wine opening it and pouring it into her glass "how are you, how's your mother keeping" she always asked about my mom and it bothered me but I always remind myself that she's just drunk.
"Yeah I'm doing good, she's good" I went to walk out but she stood in my way.
"Can I ask you a question" this is always the point where it gets awkward for me to look at her the next day "if I was your age" she bit her lip "would you find me attractive" I know she didn't mean it in that kind of way, she was insecure because she hasn't been in a relationship since her last one and that ended years ago.
I said nothing making her speak again "do you find me unattractive Y/n" now her biting her lip is imprinted in my mind.
"I'd rather not say" I chuckled.
"That's fair" she stepped back "you're free to go" she let a little giggle out going back to her bottle.
I went back to Zendaya's room thinking.
Tonight's going to be a sleepless night.
This is what my boredom brought me to.
Also if you want g!p who do you want to have it(that sounds weird)
Anyways sorry for any mistakes and thanks for reading.
I hope you enjoy what this book has to offer.
