Clueless (Warning: Rubbish book!)

'Pizza is a godsend' Chapter One

I roll my eyes at my best friend Alice, who enlightens me by thumping on the dance mat like an idiot. I also find myself shaking my head over the fact that she hasn't realised that for an electric device to work, one must turn it on.

I flick the switch and look at Alice glumly, she sheepishly grins and then starts dancing, and I'm not going to lie, she's good.

But I'm better.

I smile at my winning score and then flop onto my bed, sipping from a can.

'Jemma, there is something your not telling me.' Alice says, folding up the dance mat.

'Is there? Because if that's true then I'm not telling myself something too.' I truthfully reply and she raises an eyebrow.

'Well, when were you going to tell me about your conversation with Stacey?' Alice quizzess and I furrow my eyebrows.

Who the hell is Stacey?

Oh yeah...Stacey.

'What about it? She just asked me if you were chatting up her brother.' I say, placing the can on my bedside table and stretching. 'I simply said no and walked away.'

'Your such an idiot, but never mind let's go down, your mums made dinner.'

'Has she?! I'm there.'

I rapidly exit my room and travel halfway down the stairs in nought point five seconds but find myslef stopping since Alice isn't behind me.

'Ally? Come on! I need food.' I turn around and start counting but by the time I've reached ten I give up and walk to my bedroom.

I take one step inside and I'm instantly wet.

'You...you...BEANPOLE.'

I brsh the water off my face and look down, a wet, empty bucket is beside my feet. My clothes and hair are ruined but thats not what is disapointing me. My food downstairs is cold.

'You should have seen your face!' Alice splutters before leaving my room casually allowing me to change.

This calls for revenge.

*

I walk downstairs and think of ways to get revenge, lyric prank her? No, she knows every song in the world. Chilli in her food? Nope, she likes spices. Dye in her shampoo? Too expensive. Break up with her boyfriend? No, she doens't like him anyway and will be with someone new tomorrow so its pointless.

I call for Alice but she is nowhere to be seen so she must have gone home, I look at the table and see pasta. My face lights up and I reheat it. However just before the spoon enters my mouth, I quickly notice the chilli powdered everywhere.

I sigh and roll my eyes.

I call for a pizza and await for the pizza man, who should arrive about.....

...wait not here yet...

Almost here....

I swear it's been a year...

...I WANT MY PIZZA

-Ding-

Finally.

I walk to the door and open it, smiling evily at the five boxes of pizza.

'Okay five cheese and tomato pizza's, that will be 15 pounds please.' The pizza delivery guy says. I pay him and turn my head to call 'GUYS THE PIZZA IS HERE.'

He smiles. 'You folks enjoy your pizzas.'

I shut the door and cackle.

I'm not sharing this pizza.

Heck no.

There is nobody else here.

Only me.

And five pizzas.

*

I am on my fifth box when I realise X Factor is on, I quickly call up Alice, convince her that I'm not planning anything and tell her to come round so we can watch the rest of X factor together.

She is not convinced but when I mention Pizza she is on her way.

Pizza is a godsend.

But, I hope pizza forgives me as I squirt honey all over the base and place it back in the box.

Sorry Alice.

I hear the doorbell and invite her inside. We sit down and I flick ITV on.

"Damn, we've missed all the performances! At least we get to hear the results." Alice says, picking up a pizza. I smile to myself. Mwhaha.

Alice is about to bite into it when I realise...Alice is allergic to honey. I smack her hand and gobble the pizza up without thinking, I run to the toilet and puke.

"What the..." Alice starts but I interrupt her by vomiting again.

"You done? Why are you puking over pizza, that's like the second best thing in the world!" Alice says, still not understanding the fact that I'm sick. I wash my face and drink a glass of water. I run to my bedroom to get changed.

"First one being?" I ask, locking my door and changing into my pyjamas.

"I think you know...." Alice says stupidly, this girl is really crazy. I bang my door.

"Idiot. Food is always number one, dimwit." I pull on my bottoms and unlock the door and go over to the sofa.

"Why were you puking, anyway?" Alice asks, turning up the volume so we can hear who got eliminated in X Factor.

"I put honey on your 'cold' pizza, then I realised your allergic to honey and knocked it out of your hand. I ate it without thinking. Now, shut up, the results are finally here."

-And, the act that will be leaving the competition is Stereo Kicks.

Alice burst out laughing.

"Why are you laughing, for gods sake Stereo Kicks just got eliminated! They were our favourite act." I anounce but Alice is still laughing.

"You thought I was allergic to honey? Pur-lease the only thing I'm allergic is to is Ryan, that geek from school. I have to sit with him in every lesson so I've developed an allergy towards him. That reminds me, did you see that article in the newspaper I'm allergic to Simon Cowell,now, that was hilarious." Alice says, still laughing, her laughs became chuckles and her eyes landed on the tv. "Who got eliminated?" She says, picking at her finger nails.

"Stereo Kicks and your totally correct about Ryan, he has some issues." I replied, bluntly. Alice immediately dropped her gaze on me with an awe-struck look. "I'm Joking." She sighed with relief only to her the words.."Only I'm not."

I say, I was upset to see Stereo Kicks go but the look on Alice's face was revenge enough. I took a picture and a tear pricked down her cheek.

"What?! You mean to say...Stereo Kicks...that's it, I've officially boycotted X Factor. First Only the young left, now Stereo Kicks?" Alice stood up and walked towards the door. "See you at school." She mumbled.

"See you."

I looked back at the picture and burst our laughing, Alice's jaw was wide open so oyu could see some food stuck into her teeth, her mascara was slightly running as she was crying and...well the pic was just hilarious. I opened my Facebook app and uploaded it, commenting saying 'Alice's reaction to Stereo Kicks being eliminated'.