| Ephemeral |

twenty-nine

Alex

It's been about a week or so since Ethan has come home. I've been staying at my old house and I think he's been staying at his. We haven't spoken since he's gotten back. Every time we come close to confrontation he walks away or ignores any move I make. 

He pretends I don't exist. Like we were never in love with each other. I think about him every day but I feel like I'm the last thing possible on his mind. 

-

I grabbed my coffee and braced myself for the pouring rain that awaited me outside of the coffee shop. I closed my eyes tightly as I swung open the door, feeling water begin to soak my skin.

As soon as I opened my eyes my body hit someone else. I jumped quickly as I felt my coffee spill onto my hand from the impact. 

The air getting caught in my throat almost made an audible noise. I felt my eyes widen involuntarily as I saw Ethan standing in front of me. His hair was soaked, as was his shirt and jacket.

He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but closed it quickly before trying to walk around me. 

"I can't do this anymore," I finally spoke. I had to say It loud enough for him to hear me over the rain pounding against the cement.

"Do what?" He asked me as he reluctantly turned back around to face me. He looked as though he didn't even want to look at me.

"Pretend I don't care. Pretend I haven't missed you more than I can possibly fathom," I admitted, feeling my voice strain from being so honest with him. 

He didn't speak for a few moments, he just stared blankly at me as the rain dripped from his face. 

"I can't, Alex." He shook his head at me before walking into the coffee shop. I heard the bell ring loudly at the top of the door before I let out a deep breath. 

I felt my eyes welling up with tears. I tossed my coffee into the trash can on the way to my car. I brought my arms closer to my body in an attempt to warm myself as the rain bounced off my skin. 

-

I went back to the compound for the day to get some more of my clothes to last me the week. I walked down the hallway, but stopped when I saw Ethan's room door cracked. It hasn't been touched since I had that meltdown in there. 

I peaked in and saw his bareback facing the door as he picked through his closet. I couldn't help but study him. He's gotten more built since he was here. In the mirror hanging on his wall, I saw his chest.

It had a tattoo on it, a mortel tattoo. I dropped everything in my hands and walked toward him quickly. 

I turned his body around and pushed him back slightly trying to get a better look. His back hit the wall and he looked at me confused. I felt his heart rate picking up as my hand rested on his chest.

"Ethan, when did you join the mortel's?" I asked him quickly as my eyes traced the recent ink. When I looked up at him I didn't realize how close he and I were to each other. 

"The third week I was there," He whispered down to me. I swallowed hard as I backed away from him a little. 

"I never wanted this for you," I admitted, feeling my chest tighten. He was finally looking into my eyes for a change. Every other time it felt like he was looking through me.