dear bear | kth

22장

dear bear,

today, you came home crying after teacher parent conferences. i guess, the sight of seeing other parents with their mom upset you. usually i would support you and back you up no matter what situation we are in. but the words you said to jiwoo were definitely not so nice at all. hopefully this letter can do something...

there are times where i realize how lucky i am to have you, a roof over my head, and just an overall healthy and safe environment. i feel as if lately, i've been giving a lot more thought to the idea of privilege.

i think it's always important for people like us to admit to the privilege we have. although, you do like to complain to me about your life 24/7 in the car when i pick you up from school. but one day you'll know, maybe you'll even acknowledge yours while reading this letter in the future.

anyway, going back to what i was saying. privilege is basically what we may have over others. it's simple things like a house, food in our table, money to sustain us, our family, education, a safe environment, etc.

lately as i've been watching the world around us and on tv. i realize that we really don't have it as tough as others. well, i've always known that but lately it's really being solidified.

when times are rough or things are just not going the way i expect them to. i sometimes think about things i shouldn't be. or at least i did in the past. there's this sharp pain in my chest that seems to weigh me down by the core. and i just don't know what to do because of the overwhelming feeling.

i find myself questioning my life as i mutter, "why does my life have to be like this" or "why can't i be like others." what i didn't realize is that some people may be living even worse than i am but in their eyes i am living the best. while to some they may look nice on the outside but on the inside they aren't.

they always say that the grass is greener on the other side.

i think that saying is true and applicable to us. we may often find ourselves comparing us to other people and the lives that we can see from the outside. yet, we don't stop to acknowledge the privilege we have.

when complaining about your education or school, you don't realize that what you are complaining about is somethin that another person wishes for. or when you consoling about your parents nagging and being annoying, you don't realize that there are other kids who don't even get to experience that.

when you recognize that privilege, you should stop and reflect about what you are saying and thinking about. we just never realize that what we have may possibly be better than what someone may not have at all.

isn't it sad how people usually don't recognize and appreciate certain things in their life till is gone? i always found that to be quite bitter. yet, an important thing that should happen in order for you to appreciate the life you were given.

yet, to avoid that feeling in the first place. it would be best to stop and reflect like i said before. especially after having a fight/argument or when you are feeling down and thinking about things you shouldn't be.

just stop and reflect on everything in your life. the people and all.

hopefully then, you'll be able to see much more brighter.

i hope this letter that i write to you can help you realize what you said may have been wrong. maybe this letter will help you realize how lucky you are to have another parent figure in your life that loves you.

i think even without this letter, you'll realize what you've done and have. i know it. i've raised you since the start and knowing your personality, you'll probably avoid trying to say sorry to your step mom and bake her brownies instead.

i just hope the brownies won't be as bad as last time...

love,
kim taehyung