dear bear | kth

29장

dear bear,

you came home crying about your a girl named lia yesterday. you always felt insecure around her and the way she would nitpick parts of you in front of students.

your mother and i wouldn't have even known about that until the time you told your uncle hobi that his loud laughing was going to make him have less friends.

i remember scolding you about your comment until you burst into tears apologizing and explaining why you said that.

it was then that your mother and i decided to have a serious conversation with the principal today. we thought we had done the right thing until we came home to see you incredibly dejected.

your mother and i were wrong.

as i am writing this i am starting to feel ashamed by my own actions. i realized we had done something without asking you and that makes me feel terrible. we had never intended to do that.

we were so focused on solving the "issue" and not you.

i know that i need to go talk to you now. you're currently in your bedroom and it's unnerving how silent this household is at the moment.

i'm writing this entry in hopes that i can clear my mind and really think deeply about what and how i want to speak to you in a couple minutes.

first off, it's important that i apologize for acting without your opinion. i'm pretty sure there would have been a way you would have wanted us to deal with this situation. yet, we never asked and just did what us adults thought was best for you.

then i would explain why we had come to the decision we made. the important part here is to not emphasize on the point that this decision was made because we were right and you were wrong. we are the adults and you are the child.

that would make the whole point of an apology into nothing within a second.

i would explain that it hurt me seeing you cry about people who would try to make you feel insecure.

you are my beautiful child that i waited nine precious months with your mom. seeing you hurt makes me feel as if a part of me is being carved into.

when you would tell me all about the times they would make fun of you. i wanted to march up to those kids parents and ask them how on earth do they allow their kids to run around with those mouths. after that, i would give those kids a long lecture.

all those feelings combined made your mother and i act the way we did and i'm sorry we never asked for your opinion. that was wrong of us. you yourself have your own opinion and thoughts.

yet, we took that away in an instance and that will never happen again. to me, it is important to understand your point of view and thoughts. isn't that a basic thing a parent could do? actually listen to their kids.

i also want you to fully understand and remember that just because of what they said doesn't means that there's something wrong with you or your personality. okay?

you are perfectly you.

if you need me to remind you that over and over again. i will do it.

i will remind you every waking moment till you fall asleep late at night. i will say it over and over again until you fully comprehend that.

you are perfectly you.

i love you for that. we love you for that.

one thing i learned in life is that you cannot be liked by everyone. over time i had to learn and accept that there just are certain people who won't like you no matter what.

no matter how hard you try to get them to like you. they'll always find some type of thing to hold onto and ruin their image of who you are.

and that's okay.

it really is okay.

that happens.

sometimes it can get to the best of us. but we just have to remember. hey, they might not like me and that closes the potential path we could have had to becoming friends.

but there's a million other pathways leading us to different people and friendships.

so just be you.

you are perfect.

love,
kim taehyung

p.s i'm going to bring some cookies and milk up to your room. i hope your mom doesn't find out because i'll be dead if she does. especially since this is past bed time.