Find me

Chapter 33

I run faster and faster, trying to catch him before I lost him again. He went to the terrace so do I and close the door behind me, moving closer to him. Now we are alone here, only he and me, hoping that I'll get all my answers.

"Why do you care for me?" I ask, louder than usual, but enough to make him turn.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, raising his eyebrows.

I walk further "That's not my answer".

He removes his gaze "I don't know what are you talking about" he snaps, it's evident from his expression that it's a question that shouldn't be brushed upon.

I blocked his way as he starts walking "You perfectly know what I'm talking" I argue.

"What the hell do you want?" he snaps. His outburst doesn't take me surprise because I already knew this would happen if I argued with him.

"You said that- I thought I lost you again" I take a step closer "What does that mean?".

We exchange a long glance before he looks away. Cleary his mood has shifted, and his eyes are narrower. "Stop digging! It'll give you nothing" he replies as he rushes towards the door.

I grabbed his hand "I know, we definitely have some connections like we've known each other for a very long time" I replied as I walk across him to watch his expression which is stony as always. "I know it doesn't make any sense but.... but... I don't know, why would you make me feel something. I feel excited when you are around, and I feel jealous when you are with her".

"That is your problem, not mine".
He snaps my hand in frustration and storms towards the door.
So, I follow him and stop him to open up the door "Why are you running away?" I question as he runs his hands through his hair. For some reason, he's getting really stressed out.
"I'm just asking why you care for me, you almost killed Gloria because of me".

"She deserves that because whatever she did was totally wrong" he almost yells at me, his entire body is rigid as he locks his eyes on mine "Don't high up your hopes".

I stare at him, anger is boiling inside me, how dare he say such things?
Clenching my jaw, I blurted, "Then what about last night? Why did you beat him, he's my friend and you have no right to bump into any one's personal life" my voice grew harder, if not a little shakier.

He punched his fist on the wall to the side of my head, making my heart pound, and place other hands on either side of me. His face is in such proximity to my own that I feel as though he's stealing my oxygen, and I find myself struggling to keep the words coming out. But I force myself to keep going because I can't back down now. "I don't know why are doing such things if you don't care about me, first, you came from nowhere and help me and then disappeared and the fact is that I never asked you for all these still you did and this is something which makes me more eager to know you closely". He doesn't speak, only stares back at me, his eyes somehow growing even narrower.
I was startled and frustrated by his act, "You know what? I think you are doing these things just to look cool, trying to impress people but you are annoying and you irritate me, but you are a LOOSER".

Dorian shakes his head "You have no idea what are you talking about and that's not the reason why I did everything".

"Then why?" I study him the way his eyes shift quickly, changing shades, and growing deeper. I can even see his chest moving, almost feeling his heart racing "Is it some new way of ragging or something?".

"I'm doing all these because this is what I always do" he snaps. He steps backwards, his shoulder dropping, his eyelids collapsing shut as he exhales. I listen to his breathing as he shakes his head. And when his eyes flicker open again, he's livid "It's my job to protect everyone from any kind of danger" he paused. "And I think now you've got your answer, so get the hell out of here".

"No," I say firmly, standing my ground "I don't think that's a complete answer".

"Alice" he swallows, the quiet force of him saying my name only infuriating me even more because I know this is not the complete answer. He takes a step toward me, leaning down a little so that we are level in height. His eyes pierce mine in a way that is almost terrifying "I'm done".

The anger at him, the confusion, the frustration at everything he had done to me, it all somehow come together at once within me. It's like a sudden surge of adrenaline insanity rushing through my veins and triggering something I can't comprehend. His words have only just left his lips when I reach out for him, grasping his face in my hands and feeling the warmth of his skin. I slam my lips into him, overwhelmed by the sensation as my eyelids flutter closed and some silence consumes us. It's surprising the way my heart thuds against my chest, but exhilarating the way his lips feel against mine. It's only a matter of seconds before he enraged at me again, and I slowly pull away from him.

I take a step back, feeling embarrassed about myself as Dorian stares at me, his eyes wide. I don't know what to do now, the best thing I could do now is to apologize to him before he explodes at me.

"I'm...... I'm.... sorry, I don't know....... why I did this..... I just....." I babble, my words catching in my throat as I stutter some kind of an explanation "I'm sorry. I was just trying to......".

I'm cut off when his lips come crashing back down on my own. He's so strong that he knocks me off my feet, pushing me backwards until my back hits the wall, his hands cupping my face, his finger winding into my hair. His lips are fast, eager, and forceful. Yet so incredible. I can feel his anger. I don't know why I'm not pulling away. I know I should. But something is comforting about the entire thing that I just can't stop. He drops his hand to the small of my back, pulling me against his body for only the briefest of moments.

And then he stops.

Just like that, he tears his lips away from mine, releasing his grip, and takes a step back. The moment ends quickly as it began.

"Shit" he breathes, so softly and so quietly. His eyes pierce mine. Mine is full of surprise. He looks shocked at himself.

"I think, I've to go now" I mutter. Because this is the only thing I can do right now. I need to calm myself. I need to think. I need to comprehend everything that happened until now.