Find me

Chapter 48

Dorian

I'm leaning against the tree, hands digging in the pocket of my jeans, waiting for her. I glance down at my watch. It's 4:30 am. The sky above me is still dark. My eyes dart to her window on the second floor when the light flicker on. She must awake now.

I slowly chuckled as I saw her, yawning she opened her window, but suddenly pull herself to normal when she noticed me. She looks adorable when she acts like this. I smiled at her and she gives me her apologetic smile and gestured for me to wait for more than ten minutes. I give my quick nod to her.

I pull off my hoodie as she walks to me. I show her my watch which shows 4:45 am. She took five more minutes. But I don't mind.

She twisted her lips in embarrassment "I'm sorry" she says.

"It's ok". She's never been on time since childhood. I know that this would happen. So I'm not angry at her. "So? Ready to go?" I ask.

She nodded and follow me as I lead the way. "Where are we going in this early morning?"

I tilted my head to her "You've always been curious about everything".

"I'm just asking".

After ten minutes of our walk, we reached down the wooden area. She keeps wondering as she glances up at every detail that passes by us. A few minutes later we were about to emerge from the woods to the ocean. So, I stop walking, and so does she. "Have we reached? What is this place?" she asked me curiously?

"Not yet". I replied and slides behind her. I cover her eyes with one hand.

She startled "What.... what are you doing?"

I lean and whispered in her ears "Do you trust me?" And I think I get my answer as she shivered, and give me a slow nod 'Yes'.

We walk further with my hand on her eyes "Not too much walking" I assure her. Finally, we reached there. And it's time now. I remove my hand and she slowly opens her eyes. I keep standing behind her, watching the way her eyes start gleaming with the rising of the sun. That reddish-orange sun shining in front of us between the oceans. We reached on time.

"Wow," she whispered. "It's......... it's beautiful".

While looking at her, I replied "Yeah, it's beautiful". I can see that she's enjoying the view. And I'm glad that I can make this happen.

The way she is smiling, the way her eyes glow, everything makes her more beautiful than ever. I'm dying to watch her like this. She's pretty in every way that I can't take my eyes off her.

All I do is make you feel sad. You come to me and brought great joy into my life. But I will always end up making you cry. In the end, I will bring you more tears than anyone possibly could. That's why I choose to love you rather than run away. I missed you, Alice.

She glanced up at me and caught me off guard. I slowly blinked and look away, pretending to watch the sun. "It's nice, isn't it?" I ask. And she gives me her beautiful smile and nod.

She sank to the sand and gestured for me to sit next to her. I join her, pulling my one knee up, I place my one arm onto it. She turns to watch me "Why did you bring me here?" she asked. I stay silent for a while, thinking about how to answer it properly. I lean closer "To show you what you really meant to me" I replied. She's my sunrise who always gives me hope that there is always been a new start, doesn't matter how dark the night was. She fills the light in my dark life.

I notice her cheeks flush. I pressed my lips hard, trying not to smile. She looks cute whenever she is shy. I pull back a little and study the way her eyes look at mine. She has lots of questions and I can see that. She's curious, desperate and stubborn. I look back at the ocean and ask "Are you afraid of me?"

"No..... I don't know....... Sort of" she admits. "You've always made me curious. There are so many mysteries about you".

I took a deep breath "So, here's a chance to maybe solve one of them. If you want". She stares at me with a blank expression. I continued "I'll answer one of your questions".

I can see the curiosity gets the best of her and I smile.

"Can I ask two?" she ask.

"NO" I snap.

She sigh. I can see that she is struggling with which one to ask. I know she has so many.

After a short moment of pause, she speaks "Where have you been in these past years?"

I never expect this type of question from her. My past was the worst and I don't want to think about it. First, dad left me and then I lost Alice. I remember that day when I lost her. I was 16 years. That day I made her forget me and everything which reminds her of me. Because I was left with no choice. I don't let her hate me for her whole life. I was COWARD. Actually, I'm still a coward. I'm afraid that when she found out what had I done to her. She'll never forgive me. She'll hate me. And this is something which is killing me every day. I know I don't deserve her love. She deserves someone loyal and pure unlike me. But right now, I become selfish. I'm just following the fact that I need her.

"Struggling with myself" I answer and pull up myself to my feet.

"Why? What happened to you?"

"There are so many things that are good if you do not find their answer" I reply.

She looks at me suspiciously, as if she is confused by my statement. "I think it's time to go. You've class. Right?" I tell her.

She kept silent, just watching me with more curiosity. I know she doesn't feel the way I feel for her, which somehow hurt me. But it'll be good for her. Because one day I'm gonna hurt her again.

She nodded and start walking beside me while glancing down at the beach. I wish, I never have been in her life.

I grab her wrist, to stop her "What happens?" she asks.

I gently pull her and embrace her into my arms. She feels warm against my cold skin. I smile when she hugs me too. "I missed you," I whispered and this is when she tightly hug me.

I am sorry, Alice. I hope you'll forget me soon.