Find me

Chapter 43

Alice

My tears are dry now, and I'm showered and somewhat mentally stable by the time Laura arrives in my room.

"So, ready to go?" she asks to lean against the door.

"Yeah," I tell her and manage a smile and grabbed my bag. I wanted to tell her everything but was not interested in repeating all that in my head again. I know she wouldn't judge me, and despite wanting to be able to tell someone. I also really don't want anyone to know.

Laura looks at me with concern evident in her eyes. I'm afraid that she read my mind again. Thankfully, No. because she doesn't ask me anything.

I want to hug her but instead, I ask "How was your date with Eric?" to change my mind. She tells me how he took her to the waterfall, and how they kept swimming. And on the way back to the dorm room, they had some intense moments in rain. I want to be excited and ask her for more detail but I know I am jealous because Eric actually likes her in a way Dorian never likes me. But I remind myself that I do have someone who loves me and that's my father and my friends. And I have to keep my distance from him- for real this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~

We went to the canteen and took our usual seats. We order the veg sandwich and chocolate shake. I'm too drained to even eat and feel like something is broken. My eyes were puffy because of a lack of sleep. That's why I had drawn a thin line from eyeliner under my eyes and on my eyelid, hoping that this could cover everything. and it actually worked. My eyes now look much better. I wore my tight jeans and tank top under my black checked shirt.

Aria joins us too. It's been a month since I met her. Because she's a senior and has different classes. So, she just hangs out with us once a week or once a month, whenever she gets time. I like her. She's sweet and decent.

"What's going on guys?" cheerfully Aria asks. And I'm thinking of what to tell her when Laura replies. I'm glad that she replied first because I'm not in the mood to talk. So I kept silent there, just eating and frequently smiling at them just to show that I'm listening too and interested in their conversation even though I wasn't.

But suddenly my mind become interested when Aria stated "Do you guys know what happened today?" she paused and we both look up at her. She continued "Dorian and Gloria came together this morning," she scoffs and shakes her head in disbelief.

'Ouchh' something clunch inside me when her word left her mouth. I look away, pretending that I don't give bullshit about it. "What?" Laura almost chokes, shocked by the news.

"Weird right? That's what I'm thinking this whole time" Aria says. She lingers closer from her seat to us "I mean whatever happened that day we thought he never saw her face ever again, the way he treats her there, looked like he killed her, but God knows what happened between them that they end up together again". Aria slowly chuckled.

I ball my fist and gulp my drink almost in one go. "See you in class Laura. Bye Aria," I tell them and storm outside. I don't want them to notice my discomfort. So, that was just a show, pretending to be a hero or something in everyone's eyes. I laugh through my irritation. He's definitely a jerk. How the hell would I fall for that? How can I be an idiot to believe in all that activity, and end up kissing him? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I want to punch him right on his face for kissing me back. Bastard. I want to scream.

When I entered the classroom, the first thing I notice is him. I almost forget that it's literature. Great. Dorian sits in the backseat. He is wearing a full-sleeve hooded grey-black T-shirt. I can see his biceps when he put his hand on his forehead while reading something. It amazes me how attractive I find him every time I saw him. I look away quickly, sit down in my usual seat and pull out my notes, hoping that Luke arrives soon so I won't feel so alone with him even though almost every student has already arrived.

He didn't even look up at me when I came. Rude.

Luke walks in and I'm so grateful. Taking his seat next to me, he asks in his kind tone "You okay?" Am I looking stressed? Why does he ask me this?

I pull a smile on my face "Absolutely" I lie, and class begins.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I continue ignoring him all week, and each day passing without seeing him makes it a little easier to not think about him so much. Eric and Laura have been hanging out all week, so I've spent most of my day in my room, which has been good and bad. Good because I made a sketch of that tattoo and show it to Luke if he has any idea about this. He showed it to a different tattoo artist but unfortunately got no response. Maybe that man is from a different city or maybe from a different country. But I don't give up. I keep trying. We kept looking for some more tattoo artists of that time.

All week I have been wearing a little bit more makeup, but I still, look tired. By Friday morning, I feel like I'm really over this whole mess with Dorian. This is until everyone keeps talking about him and Gloria's patch-up. Now they know as a couple. Ridiculous. Bloody showoff.

To ignore their shit, I peacefully spend every evening in the library, with no disturbance, no gossip, just me and my books.

I glance at my watch, it's 7 pm, time to go. I collect all my things and put them in my bag. I walk outside, pulling my hoodie on. I kept walking down the pathway when I heard something. I pivoted my eyes toward the noise but no one was there, maybe some animal roaming around. So I start walking again. I'm all alone here, cold wind blowing, slowly hitting my face. I love it.

My thoughts break when an unknown hand grab my arms. I jumped, scared to death. My heart pounding deadly inside my chest as if it will explode at any time. I slowly turn, and can't believe in my eyes which they are seeing. He's panting in front of my eyes. He was sweaty even in this cold weather. His eyes are slightly open like he was going to faint. He leans towards me, trying to speak something. But looks like he's unable to say something. I don't comprehend anything. I don't know what is wrong with him. I never have seen him like this before. Is he drunk? No, he doesn't look like that?

"Are you ok...." he cut me off when he fell on me, direct on my shoulder. I stumble backwards but quickly regain my balance. His hand fell lifeless on either side of his. I hold him from his shoulder, trying to make him stand properly, but too heavy for me to even drag him. I can feel his breathing on my neck which somewhat gives me goosebumps.

He whispered in my ear "Something.......... something.......is happening.........to me" his words faltered. But still, I understand it. And this is when he fainted.

"What?" I ask, trying to shake him by his shoulder "Do you listen to me? Dorian? What happened to you?" But it didn't work. Shit. What do I do now? The sound of my heartbeat thrashed in my ears. Shit. Shit. Shit. What the hell happened to him?