Find me

Chapter 50

Alice

I lost my first hope, still, I'm not going to give up. There must be some other way. If God is really above us then there will definitely be some other way too. Because I know I can.

We are watching the street again- country fields blurring into each other on either side of us, while trees jostled for space overhead. That creepy place is far away now. While watching the road above us, he asked, "Are you okay?".

I pivoted my eyes from the window to him and shook my head against the leather seat "Yeah, I'm good, just a little tired". He side-glanced at me "Do you want something to eat?" he asks and then looks back on the road.

"NO. I'm good" I assure him.

He let out a sigh and the car jolted to the side and Luke slammed on the breaks, pulling us into a mud ditch at the edge of the street. My body strained against the seatbelt as I lurched forwards. He pulled the parking brake and flung the door open.

"Where are you going?" I half-shrieked, undoing my seatbelt and whipping my head around at the same time. The place is a little crowded, it looks like a local market. People were chatting, buying, roaming from one shop to other.

Luke was already out of the car, striding towards the market beside us. "Wait here" he called over his shoulder. And lost into the crowd.

I waited in the car with his keys and his phone and the radio still on and tried to figure out just what the hell he was going for on these random road-street shops.

He ducked back into the car a couple of minutes later, he was holding a small bucket of strawberries in his hand. It looks fresh.

He held them across the armrest between us "Here," he said, not quite looking at me.

My jaw unhinged. I took them from him. He's so caring. He just went so that he could buy something for me to eat.

"They said, this is very sweet, so I guess, maybe you like it," he told me.

"Thanks" I finally said, rotating them, "I really like it". I put one fresh strawberry in my mouth, it's sweet juice filled in my mouth. It's delicious. After such a long time I eat this. "This is really good". A groan of pleasure escaped me and I closed my eyes, thinking only of the taste for the fleeting moment. I took another one in my mouth. God, it is so good.

He lightly chuckled, to see me enjoying it. And I noticed with a frown that he hadn't gotten anything for himself. I put the rest of the strawberries on the dashboard and nudged it, ever so slightly, towards him.

His gaze flicked to the left, his lips quirking upwards for one passing second. Slowly, he reached his hand out and took one of them. I watched him chew. He blinked, slow and heavy, and I could tell he is enjoying it.

We shared them the rest of our way- one by one, me and then he until there is just one strawberry left. I watched, feeling way too forlorn as Luke picked it up. It was his turn. We are about to reach the campus. The rest of the ride passed quickly.

He cleared his throat, and just as I tieing up my hair into a ponytail, he turned to me and ask "So........ you guys are really.......... together?

Suddenly my smile drained. This is something that I didn't want to talk about in person. But what if it hurt him somehow, still I need to tell him. Because I still remember the day when he said that he likes me.

"Uh...... yeah........ It ends up somehow like this" I replied, trying to look at anything but not at him.

He sharply turned to me as he slammed the break so hard "Are you kidding me?"

"Luke, I know you don't like him but...."

"But what? He's an asshole, okay? He doesn't deserve you" he gripped the steering wheel so hard that his palm turned into white.

I feel the hardening of my stomach "Please don't say that". He looks away, fingernails biting into his palm. What is his problem?

He is running his hand through the hair in frustration "Why don't you get this Alice?" he darts his eyes on me once again, drawing a breath and then releasing it before speaking "You're too good for him, Alice. He's not what you think. He's....... he's....."

"He is what?" I sneer.

I can see the tension in his voice as he replied, "He is not right for you".

Pinching my lips together, I speak through my teeth with forced restraint "This is my life, Luke. And I'm not a baby, I can decide for myself," and slammed the door behind me. I heard the slamming of the door again, as he runs to me "Wait, Alice". But I didn't stop. I keep walking, straight along the road. I don't know where it will take me, still, I don't stop.

He grabs my arm "Just listen to me" he yelled. I stop "What?" I shoot him back.

"You don't even know him, still you are defending that bastard".

Anger is bubbling inside me, as I speak under my baring teeth "Yes, I know him. I know him very well, okay?" I pause as I'm out of breath.

"Really? Like what? Do you know where he lives? Do you know who is his parents? Do you know what he was doing when he is not with you? Have you ever thought about it?" he shouts. I have never seen him like this before. He seems angry, very angry. A pinched, tension-filled expression is visible on his face.

I kept silent. I don't know what to say next.

"Think Alice. Please". He pleads. "You deserve much better than him".

"Let me go" I hissed. My jaw is paining from clenching my teeth "Let me go, Luke" I shout.

And he did. He let go of my hand, just staring at me while taking a deep breath.

I walk off without looking back. And this time he didn't follow me. Tears are streaming down my face, and I continuously wipe them off while walking back to campus. So, finally, I lose my great friend. And it's really damn hurting. I don't want to lose him.