Save Me - clifford (a.u.)

16. UPDATED!!!!!

I rested my head on Michaels lap as we laid on the bed in front of his laptop.  He was running his fingers through my hair as we watched Breaking Bad together in his room.  This whole idea of sex and bedrooms was an absolute waste of time and an overreaction.  I’ve never felt more comfortable in my life then in this exact moment and I never want it to end.

“Dani I have a question.” He said quietly.

“Mhmm?” I said sitting up and looking him in the eye, pressing the spacebar on the computer.

“Would you expect me to be honest with you about absolutely everything?” He asked shifting his eyes from me.

I narrowed my eyes and nodded slowly. “Yea I guess… why? Did you lie to me?”

He bit his lip and continued to shift his eyes from the laptop to me.

“Remember when I said that I was still a virgin and that I haven’t done it because I haven’t found anyone I was in love with?”

I continued to shoot Michael a cautious look as I nodded my head.

“I lied.  I’m not a virgin.” He said quietly, clearing his throat after looking down at his hands.

“W-why did you lie to me?” I asked looking down at Michael’s hands as well and started shaking my head.

“Because the second part was true, I was drunk and I didn’t remember much of it, and I haven’t found anyone I’m truly in love with.” He said reaching for my hand.  I pulled my hand away from his reach and started to rethink everything.

“You lied to me.” I said finally getting up.

“Yea but I’m telling you the truth now.  That was the one and only lie I’ve ever told you.” He pleaded as he quickly followed me to the door.

I felt hot tears coming over my face in anger.  Why would he do this? Why would he flat out lie to me to make me feel as special as he felt to me?

“Michael, you knew the shit I went through with Andrew.  You know how he cheated and lied all of the time.  Honestly if you had just told me I wouldn’t be pissed, alright,” I said turning around and looking him in the eye.  I felt a hot tear of frustration roll down my cheek and continued, “This whole relationship is you deciding when the big steps need to be taken.  You rushed me into thinking I had feelings for you, you rushed me into saying I love you, and now you were going to rush me into having sex.” I said trying to get my breath back.  He just stared at me waiting for the next thing I was going to tell him that we both knew was coming. “Michael this isn’t the relationship I thought it was going to be.  A relationship works on two sides.  I have to be ready too, and you didn’t think of that.  And then you go and you lie to me…” I began shaking my head looking down at the floor. “I’m done.” I said turning the knob and walking out the door.

“NO PLEASE DANI…” He pleaded as I shut the door and walked down the hall to the elevator.  I heard the door reopen the second I pushed the elevator button, followed by running.

“Dani please, don’t go.” Michael said panting standing right in front of me.

I shook my head. “Michael, I…”

“I thought you loved me?”

“I don’t know if I really do.” I admitted.  I continued to wipe the tears that flowed down my cheek with the back of my sweater sleeve.  The elevator came and I ignored it.

“I really do.  I know I really do.  Please don’t break up with me.  I truly, truly love you Danielle and I would do anything for you.  I promise to give you all the time in the world, the next time.  Please give me another chance, and if I fuck it up again then you have every right to never speak to me again. Just please Dani, I’m in love with you, truly madly deeply.  You’re all that I can think about all the time, I’m completely crazy about you. If we’re over, and if you never want to speak to me again, then fine.  I will do as you wish.  I will not talk to you if you don’t want me to. I will even try to transfer out of French and into a regular class if that’s what you want.  I’ve never been in a relationship like this.  This is real, this is intense, this is one of those feelings that I never want to end.  But if it has to, then I understand.”

I had to weigh my decisions.  Did I truly want this to end either?  When I said that I liked Michael, was it sincere?  When I said I loved him did I really?  Was him not being honest with me about his virginity terms for a break up?

"Michael I...

**** FROM THIS POINT ON UPDATED!!! (since i needed to change it completely fro the next chapter I can't keep you on a cliff hanger :(  )

I turned around to look at him.  My mouth open with no words to say.

“I don’t know what you want me to say…” I began.  It was the only thing I could make out.

“Say you forgive me,” He put his hands toghether, and grabbing my hand he begged “Say that you’ll give me another chance.”

I sighed and looked at him.  He was begging for me.  Not sex, not money, not something material or physical.  No one had ever cared for me this way.  It was as if I had his whole heart, like he had mine.

I looked at his hands that were wrapped around mine and sighed again.  I looked into his deep green eyes and that’s what made me nod. 

He broke out into a big smile and pulled me into a kiss.

“Total truth from now on.  I promise.” He said crossing his heart.

I smiled.  He took his tumb and wiped a single tear flowing down my cheek.  It was then and there that I realized, if I hadn’t told Michael I loved him when I did, that I would’ve there.

“I love you.” I said hugging him.

“I love you too.” He said hugging me tighter