Save Me - clifford (a.u.)

24

Michael

We stood in the elevator and she leaned her head on my wet chest as I put a hand on her head.  We reached our floor and went into my apartment.  Mom was sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. At our entrance she looked up and saw Dani.  She looked at me cautiously.  She stood up and walked towards us.

“Dani, sweetie you’re soaked,” she paused, “and so are you.” She looked at me, I’ll get some towels and socks and Michael please get an old sweatshirt, and change yourself while you’re at it.”  She turned and went down the hall to the linen closet.  I kissed Dani’s shivering forehead

“I’ll be right back” She nodded.

I went to my room. “Should’ve known it was her.” My mom said walking into my room as I dug through drawers for a sweatshirt.

“Mom get over it.” I said without looking up.

“No Michael, I will not get over it.  I don’t want you dating her.  This is what happens when you do.”

I looked up at her with towels and socks in her hands.

“You can’t chose who I date, okay?  She’s my girlfriend and you’re my mother.  I love you both.  So stop.” I said turning back to the drawer and pulling out a long sweatshirt.

She sighed and left the room.

I shook my head looking for something I could wear.

*

Dani

We sat in front of the TV with hot cocoa that Michael’s mom had made us, slowly adding warmth to my hands again, and covered in blankets.  Michael’s mom was sitting on the chair next to us.

She stood up after about an hour and turned in for the night.

“Come here.” Michael said opening up the blanket.  I put down my hot chocolate and put my head on his chest.  Somehow every inch of me was warm again.  He still rubbed my back trying to warm me up.

“Wanna go into my room?”  He suggested.  I didn’t get the butterflies I once did; maybe they were frozen.

I took his hand and went into his room.  I was immediately caught off guard by the strong smell of cigarettes.

“You smoke now?”  I asked.  He shrugged.

“Can I have one?” I said quickly.

“What?”

“Can I have a cigarette, Michael?”

“Why?”

“If it helps you then I bet it will do wonders on me.”

“No Dani it doesn’t help me.  It gives me time to think and just calms me down.  It kills me, just like me without you.”

I opened his drawer, took the pack and the lighter and sat on his bed cross legged.  He sat next to me.  I took a cigarette out, my hand shaking of nervousness.  He sat behind me and put himself around me.  He held my hand just has he did when we made pancakes together.  He lit it and I inhaled, and gently blew out.  Then he took it and did the same, and gave it back to me. I laid on his bed and he laid next to me.  We continued to share the cigarette and blow smoke at the ceiling.  I know they kill, but there was something comforting about killing myself slowly with him.

Once we finished one, we smoked 3 more, but didn’t talk.  After the third it was 1:53 AM but I didn’t care.  I rolled towards him and he faced me. 

“I love you.” I said.

“I love you too.”

He wrapped me in his arms, and my bare legs against his sweatpants comforting me more.

“Hey Dani?” He said.  I felt the vibrations of his voice on my forehead.

“Yea.”

“Smoking makes you totally badass.” He laughed. I laughed with him.  He always thought my goal was to be as badass as him since we got the piercings.

“Thanks.”

“Hey Dani, one more thing…” He began.

“Mhmm...”

“I love you.”  He said kissing my forehead.  Something about that kiss, about how close we were at this exact moment, after everything that had happened.  Something made me want to do something more.

“Hey, Michael.” I said sitting up.

“Yea…”

“Let’s do it.” I said biting my lip.

“Do what?” He asked still lying down.

“Sex, Michael.”

He raised his eyebrows and looked at me.

“Are you sure?”

I shrugged. “Only if you want to.”

He sat up and kissed me.  And that night, I lost my virginity.