Save Me - clifford (a.u.)

11.

I somehow made it home without having a breakdown.

"Did I just screw up the best thing that has happened to me... maybe in my whole life?" I wondered.  And this question of whether or not I like him kept making a reappearance like a commercial to the main programs that were my other thoughts.  I was constantly checking my phone for a message from Michael but nothing came.  I opened my door and found my mom in the kitchen. 

As soon as she saw me, she broke the dishes in her hands, and went even paler than when she saw Michael for the first time.

"D-D-DANIELLE WHAT THE FUCK IS IN YOUR EAR? NOT ONLY ONCE BUT TWICE?"

Mom usually made it a habit to keep swearing in our house at an all time low, so this must have been a special occasion.

I shrugged. "My ears."

"Y-Y-YOUR EARS?! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?" She said.  Her eyes were blinking like a movie projector and her nostrils flared.

"My ears, my life.  MINE MOM. ALL MINE." I said running up the stairs.  I realized I still had Michael's jacket on but Mom was still more concerned with the holes in my ears.

She didn't even bother chasing me.  I hear scraps of glass hitting each other and came to the conclusion that she was probably cleaning the glass to calm herself.  I ran into my room, slammed the door and I just started crying.

I sobbed into my pillow, for what felt like hours, smearing the make up I had been wearing  Not because my mom was mad at me at all.  Not because Michael liked me either.  It was because I was so confused.  I had no clue what to do.  Michael likes me right? And I don't have a reason to not like him back, right?

But that shouldn't be the only thing motivating me to go out with Michael.  I needed to decide whether or not I liked him, deep down.

I cuddled into my blankets and closed my eyes.  I put my headphones in, and started playing "Down" by Jason Walker.  Which seemed most appropriate.

Dani, do you like him or not?

It's not a hard choice.

He kissed you, so there's no fear of being rejected.

But should the fact that I can't be rejected be the only reason I like him?

No there was more than that.

I liked the way he held my hand when I didn't expect it.

I liked the way he smirked at things I say.

I liked the way he made me want to be a better me.

I liked the way he looked at me like he cared about what I had to say.

I liked the way he took me and kissed me spontaneously.

It didn't take me the full song to admit it to myself,

But I just liked the way he was.

I like him.

I thought about him right now, and how much I wanted him next to me, embracing me in his warm arms.  I rolled out of bed and took his jacket from the chair I threw it on earlier, and I put it on.  It was still as big as it was a few hours ago, but there's something different about it now.  Now, it feels different, like it's more valuable, in a sense.  Like the only thing I wanted to do was keep it as close to me as I could. 

I climbed into bed with the jacket over my pajama tanktop and pants, and covered myself in the blankets and let the music play me to sleep.

And I fell asleep almost instantly.

A.N. Kind of a short chapter but it's kind of super important to the story and Dani's character that I couldn't connect it to anything xx

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