The Ones For Him

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Alvaro's POV: same day...

The first day without Xavier was shit. The first week without Xavier was shit. The first month without Xavier was shit. The second month without Xavier was shit, and so was the third, fourth, and now fifth.

We all looked like shit too, so I guess the theme for this year was going to be shit.

The first day that Xavier had left, we all thought that he would come back home that same day, but he didn't. Milo kept track of where he was, but wouldn't tell us anything. Everyone was still worried, but not too worried. I had to call Xavier's parents and tell them what happened. They were clearly upset, but all we could do was wait.

After the first week, Enzo had gone ballistic and I wasn't sure if there wasn't a wall in their house that didn't have a hole in it. He slowly calmed down after that and was just sad. All the boys were sad and the only one really staying strong was Milo.

After the first month had passed, Xavier's lovers were all hurt when Milo told them that his friend had seen him take a guy to a hotel. He said they didn't do anything, but the second night, they had sex. That affected everyone instantly, especially when they saw the few seconds on Milo's phone. Benji, Levi, Kai, and Quincy all broke down. Dom, Rami, Kian, and Enzo were furious. They started breaking and destroying things around the house, but never once did Levi, Enzo, Kai, nor Milo ever take their collars off. Milo was eerily calm throughout this whole time, though.

At the beginning of the second month, when Milo told us that Xavier started smoking and drinking, that hit Manuel and Marco hard since Manuel was an alcoholic a few years ago, and Marco was addicted to drugs. They were both upset that Xavier turned to drugs and alcohol to help his problems.

In the second month, it was no different other than that Xavier was still with that blond and two new friends. When Milo told us that Xavier was having orgys with them, it just broke everyone even more. I think they had a feeling that Xavier was beginning to forget about them and moved on, but the boys still never took their collars off. I knew they still had that hope inside of them that Xavier would come back to them because we all did.

Halfway into the second month, Milo's crew lost Xavier and his three friends. They searched for hours, but they completely lost him and weren't able to find him, but they still searched around in Las Vegas. I think when Milo's crew lost sight of Xavier, he went into shock or something. He got even more quiet and stayed in his room most of the time.

We had to tell the gang that Xavier was missing and we even sent out Alex and our team to search for him, but they weren't able to find him. Xavier even had drawn out loads of money before he left, and left his card on the kitchen counter. He knew what he was doing and he was obviously doing it all on purpose.

The third and fourth month was no better. We all just got worse, but Eddie was the one that kept our hopes up and we still did. We were just slowly giving up as the days passed without seeing Xavier.

Before he left, when Milo had told us about his crew that followed Xavier, over the few last few days that Xavier was there, he just got worse. He was getting angry easily, started getting anxiety attacks, was still having those flashbacks and nightmares, started isolating himself to the point that on the last couple days he even slept in one of the guest rooms, and lost a lot of interest in doing stuff that he regularly would like to do.

It's like he just completely changed from the lovable, caring, affectionate person, to someone who gets mad easily and hates everything that annoys him and I felt guilty for some of it.

When we were down in the cells the first time he got a flashback, he was trying to make me let go of him. I was the thing that triggered him to have a panic attack and the noise that Jordy and Noah were making. If I hadn't grabbed him so roughly, maybe he wouldn't have gotten triggered and none of this would've happened. He would still be with his lovers and he would come over to our house to just spend the day with us.