The Ones For Him

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Reece's POV:

I don't like hospitals. I never have and never will because they scare me just like everything else in the world.

The world was scary and dark filled with bad, horrible monsters, but you couldn't even call them that. We want to call all the people that do bad things monsters, but they're humans just like the rest of the world. Or maybe, we're all just monsters.

I was scared of monsters. Did that mean that I'm scared of myself?

Yes.

Everyone has done bad things. The people that deny doing anything bad, are lying. Lying is bad, so that makes them a monster.

I've lied many times to stay safe from the other monsters that did bad things to me. I lied to the people that hurt and broke me. I haven't been the same, and I never will. I won't ever be cheerful, happy, or carefree. I'll now always be scared, worried, sad, always on alert, and on edge that something is going to happen to me again.

I was alone at the warehouse, but when I saw Xavier, I felt like I could trust him even if I had just met him. I felt so safe and comfortable around him, so I opened up and realized how much similar we were. He told me he had PTSD, and now that I know that we have similar symptoms, I'm sure that I have it too.

Xavier is truly a kind, caring, genuine guy. It took me by surprise when I felt like I could actually trust him, knowing that I would be safer with him than with anybody else that I've known for years, but now that he's here at the hospital, I'm sure that he has to deal with his own problems before he can help me. His lovers are really caring too.

I remember the pair of twins tried to help me feel comfortable around them and the rest of Xavier's lovers, but because of the way I am, I can't help but feel like I can't trust them. I know that they really do care for Xavier, and each other, but I still felt paranoid about something.

I wanted to get help, but I didn't have anything. I didn't have legal documents of me being alive and well, and I didn't know how to do any of that. Maybe I'd ask one of Xavier's lovers about it soon, but they should worry about Xavier and Enzo first.

Benji and Quincy are really kind. I remember when I first saw Benji, I actually felt scared because he looked like the people at the warehouse who would hurt me. I felt scared, so I immediately put my guard up, but the more we talked, the more comfortable I felt around him and Quincy.

The first day they had gone up to me, Quincy sat on Benji's lap, and I'm not sure what made me think that they were dating each other. They were really touchy and affectionate to one another, which I then learned was what happened to people who were dating Xavier. The people that were in a relationship with him seemed really comfortable with each other.

I would notice things like Quincy being fed by either Dom or Benji, or I would notice how playful Dom and Rami could get with each other. I would also see a lot of neck or face kisses, hand holding, cuddling with one another, which I actually thought was kind of adorable. They looked completely relaxed with each other, which must feel really nice.

Being able to relax and lean on other people is something I haven't done in a very long time. I never felt comfortable, at ease, or relaxed around something or someone. I was always paranoid, scared, anxious, so many more things that stopped me from being happy, I guess. I just wanted to live a normal life again, and hoped that everything would be ok from now on.

I looked up when I heard footsteps and saw Levi walk into the waiting room with Kai and Quincy. They sat down next to the twins, who looked over at him.

"What happened?" I think it was Kian that asked.

"I'm not sure." Levi sighed and rubbed his face, "It's like he just had an anxiety or panic attack because he started shaking and crying, and...the doctor told me to leave so I did."