The Heart Never Lies

Chapter Seven

Carol

I lay awake slightly on my bed when my alarm rang signifying 30 minutes before the bus arrives. 30 minutes before... I meet him again. I strike a small little smile on my face, the dopamine rush was great yesterday. I had an amazing moment talking to him in all sorts of things from the books he likes to read to the food he likes to eat. I rolled lazily on my pink shorts on the bed, careful not to wake my brother up. He throws a tantrum every time when someone disturbs his slumber.

I got up quietly with my barefoot touching the cold tiles. I looked at myself right in front of the mirror and smiled. What happens when you have a crush on someone and they do not know it? I fixed my hair and put on my bun again with my pretty bangs. My mom was a aesthetician so I learned a lot from her on how to impress a boy with just my hair when the time comes. And I think the time is now.

I sprayed on a little of my mom's own perfume. I am going to captivate him today. I released a stressful breath as I think of how I am going to approach him. Do all girls get this anxious when they are in front of their crush... or is it just me? Anyways, I have to make sure he doesn't find out that I have a crush on him. There would be unnecessary awkwardness.

I can't wait to see him again. He told me that he will be giving me something today. The way he said it makes me more excited for the school day today. I am extremely curious to know as I am munching on my eggs and sausage breakfast while waiting for the bus to arrive. It could be anything from a novel to a brochure for the next food competition. Who knows? "Good morning sweetie" My mom whispered into my ears as I just finished the remaining portion of my food.

"Good morning mom" I smiled at her. "You look happy today, did anything happen yesterday?" She gave me a slight grin before heading off to iron the shirts and sweep the floor. "No... n-nothing" I stammered a little. My mom immediately gave me a look that she knows that I am lying. When I lie, I would usually stammer.  She seems very sceptical with my response but decided not to pursue because she is busy doing her housework. "Really? Well then good for you. I want you to be always happy, even if it's without a reason." She emphasised the last word as if she is completely sure that I am lying.

She continued sweeping the floor as Bryan came downstairs to ask for his portion of breakfast. I washed my plate and cup before packing my schoolbag for the day. I looked at the Usagi keychain that Andy pointed to yesterday. I wonder how could this one single keychain sparked a variety of topics between us yesterday. I smiled at the keychain as I waited in the living room with my Usagi pillow by my side. My lucky charm as always.

I hugged the fluffy pillow as I went through my previous artworks which included some cartoons, some anime characters, and some landscape drawings. I have never once attempted a realistic drawing before. I wonder if I could still draw again. "Still looking at your drawings?" My mom stood at the front door as she finished her house chores. I quickly kept it back safely in the file as I nodded my head grimly.

My mom came and sat beside me. She looked and scoured at my hands. Ever since that day when my dad came back and hit me on my arm with a baseball bat, I could not control a portion of my hands anymore. It is as if, life itself hates me as well. She exhaled a little. "I am sorry that this has happened to you, but you should not think of the past. Think of how merry the future would be, you would be married and have kids and be a mom... like me. You don't even have to see your dad anymore." She tried to reassure me with her words but deep down, I know only one thing that could bring me joy and marriage and relationship is far from fulfilment. I want to draw. I want to make portraits of myself, and my friends, and Andy. At least then we will have a memory, at least life will have a meaning.

I nodded my head as usual when she reassures me that everything will be fine. She stood up and proceeded to cook breakfast for Bryan who is sitting on a wooden chair playing with his mechanical toy car. Moments later, dopamine rushes to my brain as the bus honked. I bid my mom and Bryan goodbye as I ran to the front gate, opened it and boarded the bus.