S3 Episode 8: Unprepared For War

1 0 0
                                    


S3 EPISODE 8: UNPREPARED FOR WAR

Rusty is sitting on a big black leather couch as he stares up at the ceiling. Dr. Dickerman chews on his pen at the desk behind him. Rusty walks over to the window and opens it, without permission. He lights a cigarette. Dr. Dickerman doesn't bother to comment.

Rusty: Do you believe in miracles?

Dr. Dickerman: Are they something that you believe in?

Rusty: I'm not sure. But, I need a miracle.

Dr. Dickerman: Why is that?

He takes a big drag.

Rusty: I've had this plan, of sorts, for a while. I've been trying, nonstop, to think of the perfect way to execute it. All of the sudden, we're at the point of where it's now or never. And I've got nothing.

Dr. Dickerman: So you're hoping for a miracle?

Rusty: I'm counting on it. I have no other option.

Dr. Dickerman: Can you provide a little more detail about this plan?

He takes another drag.

Rusty: You'd shit your fat old pants if you understood where I'm at in my life.

Dr. Dickerman smirks.

Dr. Dickerman: I see you've lost weight since the last time I saw you.

Rusty: I had to. I'm essentially a super hero now. You ever seen a fat super hero? No one has.

Dr. Dickerman: Well congratulations on losing the weight.

Rusty: I don't know. I got more pussy when I was fat. I'm thinking about gaining it back.

Dr. Dickerman: You want to gain more weight, to sleep with more women?

Rusty: Fat Rusty is a straight cooze hound. He's cooler than me. He doesn't use the term "cooze hound".

Dr. Dickerman: So you're willing to risk your health, to sleep with more women?

Rusty: I would argue that it's more unhealthy to be bored all of the time, and not be able to bust a nut at least once a week. Mental health is more important.

Dr. Dickerman: That's a respectable argument.

Rusty: So once I'm done being a superhero, it's back to Cinnamon Rolls.

Dr. Dickerman: You keep referring to yourself as a superhero. Does this plan involve saving someone?

Rusty: Yep.

Dr. Dickerman: Is this person, Amanda?

Rusty: I'm flattered by how well you know me.

Dr. Dickerman: Does the plan involve breaking her out of prison?

Rusty has a puzzled expression.

Rusty: How...

Dr. Dickerman: Her trial was all over the news for months. Of course I know what happened.

Rusty: I just need an angel, right now.

Dr. Dickerman: As I recall, she was given a very long sentence. Why is it now or never?

Rusty flicks his cigarette butt out the window and immediately lights another one.

Rusty: Did you hear about the female prisoner that was shot along the highway last week?

Piss Me OffWhere stories live. Discover now