S2 EPISODE 3: BIRTHDAY BLOODBATH
It's 7 o'clock on the dot, Friday morning. Rusty is riding in the passenger seat of Rebecca's red MINI Cooper. They are on their way back from McDonald's.
Rusty: Why did I listen to you? This is fucking disgusting.
Rebecca: How can you not like it?
Rusty: It said "sausage burrito". I expected there to be some sausage in it.
Rebecca: There is sausage in it.
Rusty: It's like peppered in there. Amongst egg and green pepper. Green pepper in eggs is the worst popular food combination ever.
Rebecca: No way. Pineapple on pizza is the worst.
Rusty is silent for a moment.
Rusty: You think I won't choke no whore?
Rebecca: I would knock you out in one punch. Break your fucking nose.
Rusty: If you're trying to knock me out in one punch, don't go for the nose. Hit me on the tip on the chin. Or on the temple. Those are "the buttons."
Rebecca: Do you want my hash brown?
Rusty: No. I lost my appetite.
Rusty rolls down and throws the burrito out the window. They drive by Riverside High School. There are multiple news station trucks parked outside.
Rebecca: Oh yeah. Another girl was stabbed last night in her home.
Rusty: Really?
Rebecca: Yeah, a bunch of people posted about it on Facebook.
Rusty: Why do serial killers always target high school kids?
Rebecca: Ugh, because they're insufferable. They have no respect for their elders. They're the worst kind of human beings.
Rusty: I think it's more because they're the easiest to kill. They don't fight back.
Rebecca: That's probably true too.
Rusty: Thanks for buying breakfast. I'll get the next one.
Rebecca: That's what you say every time. It's okay. I don't mind balling out on you. You're my...
The car slams into a Buick that slowly ran a stop sign. The Buick slides away. Rebecca hits the breaks. They both take a breath and let the ringing leave their ears.
Rebecca: Are you okay?
Rusty: I jammed my finger on the dashboard.
Rusty pulls his finger and the knuckle cracks.
Rusty: Ah, there we go. All better.
Rebecca: She just ran the fucking stop sign.
Rebecca gets out of the car. The other driver gets out of her car at the same time. It is a very old woman, holding the bleeding cut over her eye. Rusty follows Rebecca out of the car.
Old Woman: Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.
Rusty whispers to Rebecca.
Rusty: Ah God. There's no way she can see at her age. I feel bad.
Rebecca looks at her car. There is minimal damage.
Old Woman: I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
YOU ARE READING
Piss Me Off
HumorInsane events begin to unfold when the seemingly unlikeable Rusty moves in with his bestfriend, Alex, but they're not going to stop him from obtaining his True Love, the loveable Amanda. Check out pissmeoffseries.com for reviews and podcasts breakin...
