Saccharine

Chapter one: Introduction of Eryn Hence

For all of Eryn Hence's life, she was told what to do, what to say, how to act, and how to feel. Play nice. Suck up if you want to get ahead. Do what you're told. Her life never felt like her own. She was taught all the doggie tricks; to roll over like a good girl for the promise of some stupid reward. She blamed the promises, the sweet sickly promises that she would grow up to be someone great. Someone worthy. Someone important. They were in the stories told to her at bedtime, in the twinkle of the eye of her mother, the dream built in her head of what S.H.I.E.L.D could offer her.When all's said and done, the only thing important was what she could offer. What could she indeed?

She was told how special she was. A silly notion parents always raised their children with. In the regard of Eryn, the only thing special about her was her seamless ability to move things with her mind. As a child she was an early natural. Floating Barbies across her parents farm, pretending as if they were truly flying. To her it was more than special, how many 6 year olds could accomplish such feats? Attention was drawn to her rather quickly. Having a mother as an agent had its perks. It kept Eryn off cold metal tables for testing. It kept her a normal girl. As normal as a child with power could be.

The dream of becoming a hero was all her own. The dream of becoming an agent was her mothers. Little girls dream of becoming like their mothers, that's what they are meant to do. It was what Eryn was meant to do. Everyone told her so. Every year when asked what she wanted to be when she grew up it was the same answer every time. A superhero. It was sillier everytime she told her class. Eryn was proud of the answer that had always been the answer for her. It wasn't till later she began to see the problem .

She was hounded. She needed to succeed. She had to always be at her best. Best grades, best educate, best behavior. The cracks started to seep the year she entered high school. The pressure was panic inducing. Failure was not a word allowed on their happy farm. Her own ideas and dreams were not to be heard. It was then, in an essay, when she was asked what she wanted to do with her life; the pen could not write superhero, it could not write S.H.I.E.L.D agent. It was in that moment it was clear, Eryn was not Eryn. She was a shell of who everyone wanted her to be. She couldn't think of a single thing she wanted for herself. Rose colored glasses shattered that day. The world's color drained, and she began to see only melancholy.

It was a spiral all teenage girls sunk into. Who am I? What is my identity? Who was the girl known as Eryn Hence? To her mother, father, and everyone in the background, Eryn was an obedient tool, bent to their will. A silly stupid girl with one purpose. To serve. It made her sick to dwell on the manipulation. Eryn began to live two lives, the life of the girl they wanted, and the life of a girl stuck in between her parents wishes for her and her own pursuit of happiness. How could she feel happy when her very being was suppressed? Who could she be if not their happy puppet?

It was reading that saved her soul.A quiet hobby no one would pay attention to. With every word she was taken away from the demands on her shoulders, the weight of perfection, the dreams that were not hers. She could be multiple people in a day. Scarlett O'hara for breakfast. Katniss Everdeen for lunch, Elizabeth Bennett for Dinner, Lisbeth Salander when she was supposed to be asleep. Her affair with reading turned into a lust to write. Her secret lured passionate words on notebook pages. Instead of homework she was writing stories. She wrote till morning light welcomed her. She wrote till her wrist numbed. She wrote till As turned to Fs. She wrote till her mother cried.

"Eryn you have to do better."

"Eryn we're counting on you."

"Eryn why can't you listen?" 

"Eryn do you want your life to go to waste."

"Eryn you're wasting everything."

"Eryn when will you listen?"