Saccharine

Chapter 12: Did I strike a nerve Miss Hence?

 Time Skip

A few weeks later

She clung heavily onto her denial.

"He wouldn't have wanted you to lose sleep over him. He would want you to let him go." Tony had told her.

But how could she? How could she give up after all the time she had already dedicated to waiting. How could she let him slip away when there was any chance he'd return. It was nonsense to her. Absolute nonsense.

So many things conflicted her. Her guilt was still heavy on her chest, though keeping herself busy and distracted helped to ease it's grip, ease the appertions away. Concern was another unwelcome friend as word reached her that SHIELD had been under the control of HYDRA.

What were the freaking odds? The company she had loathed for so long had actually been the bad guys she so longed to fight. Eryn had named the situation as undoubtedly ironic. She was certainly out of a job now. Her concern was more for the world then herself. Eryn felt free. Free from her stupid job and her stupid expectations. She could do whatever she wanted now, be anyone she waned.

Instead she was still helping Tony. Instead she was still waiting for Bruce. Instead she was still Agent Eryn Hence.

 Oh the Irony.

 She would spend many sleepless nights fantasizing about his return. Eryn would enter the lab the next day to find him. It would be a sappy and adorable reunion, with lots of kisses and embraces. He would tell her of his travels back to her. They would laugh, cry even. Tony would eat his words and welcome his friend home. They would ditch work for that coffee date that was so long overdue. It would be perfect. If only that tomorrow would come. Night after night she would be sure that tomorrow was the day.

 Her heart ached when the denial started to creep into her. It was an ever present feeling when she would start to think of his return. Was she giving up hope? How could she? How could she let him go? How could she convince herself to forget when he could return any day now? How could she even dare to question something she wanted to be certain of?

For a while Eryn went through life the best she could, doing whatever to run from the numb feeling bubbling in her chest. She would distract herself the best she could. She began to read again, to fill the new free time she was given with the loss of her job. She would keep up with chores, errand, she would even patake in daily runs. Eryn found herself waking much too early for the world to come to life; and with nothing to do before sunset she would venture out to a nearby park. Eryn could run the entire length of the park several times before the sun was fully risen. The endorphins kept her somewhat sane.

 Eryn would throw on her favorite tunes, throw on some leggings and sneakers, and take off to start her day. She'd stroll 4 blocks away from her house to the small park and start her run. When she first began her routine, Eryn had realized she was much out of shape then she realized. Her job required endurance, delivering papers all over the compound had her moving for most of the day. After being out of work for so long and no longer needing to be everywhere at once, Eryn had lost some of hers. Her daily runs gave her even more.

 After her run, Eryn would grab coffee and a blueberry muffin at her new favorite cafe. After the incident with the stalker, she couldn't bring herself to continue going to her previous shop. It worked out better for her in the end, as the cafe was close to the park and had competent staff. It was a lovely space with mint colored walls and a wonderful citrus smell. The vibe was light and cheery, a place Eryn felt welcome. She would visit so often the workers knew her by name and her usual order.