Enervating Beauty (Kylo Ren x Reader)

Chapter 19- Coward

The Supreme Leader was a coward.

An impulsive, emotional coward who always left. When things got too hard, when he started to feel too much, he just abandoned me without second thought.

I was so tired of this battle always happening. My entire world surrounding around his temperament and his choices for that day. Knowing that I would drop everything for him in a second.

But I knew why.

No matter how much I would cry over him and complained about him or how he treated me, I would come back to him every time. It was simple.

I loved him.

That's why when he left this time, I knew that this could be what destroyed me. There was no chance this time at a return, we were completely and utterly, over.

And in the wake of it all, I was still expected to be our leader.

Being queen was all I had wanted for so long now; I couldn't let my loyalty falter for even a second to my people. I would put on a brave face, keep the peace, and do what was right. It was my duty.

The castle held too many memories of us, so I tried to stay out for as long as possible. I tended to the east cottages for hours in our deepest hills, desperate to distract myself.

I was in the further most point of our hills on the outskirts of our city when Vera came to me concerned. I had shut off my data pad so I could focus on checking in our citizens, but I clearly had missed something.

"My queen, I'm afraid I have some distressing news from the Senate."

"Yes please, do tell," I urged, leading her away from the family I was helping.

"It's about um, Kylo Ren."

Her face showed her unease at mentioning his name, knowing something happened between us when he left.

"Okay," I muttered, gritting my teeth.

"He's destroying everything. And I do mean everything, Your Grace. Planets have been wiped out entirely in our system, there's no trace of half the planets in the Ileenium system."

Such an impulsive man. I had no doubt this was because of our harsh and abrupt ending. Acting like a child, destroying whatever came into his path, despite the innocent that were mauled in-between.

There were people on these planets! People and creatures from all over the galaxy that were slaughtered. I tried to reserve the amount of anger rising in me, but it was difficult.

Being reminded of the sheer level of violence in him was suffocating. His ridiculous temper tantrums were killing innocent people and that bothered me more than anything.

"That's horrifying, I'm sorry you had to be the one to find out. What is the status of the Resistance?"

"The Senate has no trace of them currently. If he destroys them then he will destroy his mother too. General Organa is still leading them."

My heart broke at that realization, the second mother I grew up with on the verge of death because her twisted son was having another meltdown. He had already killed his father, showing his lack in morale even towards his own parents. There was nothing stopping him now from ruining the Resistance and his mother too.

My involvement in it at all made my stomach turn. He would not be nearly as upset as he was right now if it wasn't for our disagreement. I couldn't stand the thought that I was partially responsible for all of these deaths, all of the destruction.