To Make Amends • Kylo Ren/ Ben Solo x reader

• Chapter 12 •

~Kylo's P.O.V.~
I was making my way through the crowd with (Y/n) just behind me. I knew I was walking quite fast but I had seen (Y/n)'s mind when we got nearer to the city. I knew the reason she didn't want to be here and the reason behind it. I think I felt bad for bringing her here, in a way. I thought if we got through the crowd faster, there would be less chance of her encountering this so called crime lord.

I quickly turned around to make sure (Y/n) was still behind me. She was gone...

I ran back the direction we came from, I pulled out my lightsaber swinging at the people in my way. I couldn't see her anywhere. She must've been taken. How could I have let this happen?!

"Out of my way!" I screamed at everyone, as I searched vigorously through the crowd for her face. She was absolutely nowhere to be seen. I have orders to the stormtroopers that were with me,

"Find (Y/n)!!! Don't leave any stone unturned! Kill anyone who gets in your way!".

I got back to the finalizer so I could gather my thoughts. The streets of Droch were full of scum. Everything was too loud there, I needed to get some quiet so I could figure out what to do. I was sitting in my quarters, I couldn't believe I had let her slip through my fingers. I feel as if I do now care about her. I know I shouldn't but I can't help it, the way she is, just intrigues me.

I was snapped out of my thoughts to the irritating sound of Hux's voice,

"Commander Ren. What is going on?!" He asked.

I presumed he was talking about all the stormtroopers I sent out to look for (Y/n) when I arrived back at the Finalizer.

"My apprentice has been taken" I said in a monotone voice.

"Why does it matter? This is a waste of time, we should just leave now." He sneered.

"We're not going anywhere until we find (Y/n)" I said trying to sound as demanding as possible while also trying to hide my emotions towards her.

"This is pointless. She could be anywhere by now." He replied.

"I will find her."

"Why do you care so much" Hux said raising an eyebrow. "Would it be so radical to say you've developed feelings for that rebel scum?".

"I don't know what you're talking about and do not speak of her that way, (Y/n) is my apprentice."

"I outrank you Ren and I say we will return to the star killer base immediately." He said strictly.

"You may outrank me Hux but the stormtroopers are terrified of me. They'll follow orders from me over you any day."

Hux sighed and walked away. As much as I hate him, he was right about one thing, (Y/n) could be anywhere by now....

I can't leave without her she's a great asset to the dark side and would make a great sith lord if she would turn to the dark. I tried to convince myself that was the only reason I needed to find her but it definitely wasn't.  There was something about (Y/n), she made me feel warm and not like the villain I know myself to be. I've tried for a while now to be cold towards her and ignore those feelings but I don't think I can any longer.

She's gone now and there's nowhere i'd rather be than with her, even just talking to her made me feel something. She could even make me laugh sometimes, which was a weird but interesting feeling. After the years of pushing away the weak boy that is Ben Solo, his feelings- well I suppose they are my feelings are getting in the way of things. Still I won't stop until I find (Y/n) and can hold her in my arms.

~(Y/n)'s P.O.V.~
I guess it couldn't hurt to get it off my chest before Zeak kills me. There's no way i'm getting out of here unless Kylo actually decides to come look for me.

"Ok i'll tell you but this is something i've never told anyone. I just need to get it off my chest before Z kills me." I said sighing

"Well I am honoured to be the first person you tell and probably the last person if we're being honest here" Una replied.

"Well before I was with the resistance-"

"Hold your horses there darling! You're with the resistance?" She interrupted.

"Yes...well no but yes! I don't know right now. It's really complicated. Anyway before I was with the resistance I wasn't the greatest person.  I was a thief like you but it evolved into something more. I began to kidnap people for employers and I suppose I became somewhat of a bounty hunter. I never killed anyone, of course not but still what my employers did with the people I tracked down after I took them was something I chose to ignore. I'm not proud of who I was at all. I swore I would never kill anyone but...I was young, pretty skilled and completely broke- I'm sorry I don't know why i'm telling you all this you don't need to hear it all..." I stopped realising how much I was talking. I think I was also stalling because I didn't want to say what comes next in the story.

"No no ah sure go ahead. I'll listen. I've nothing else to do in here to be honest like plus no judgment here. I'm a thief remember?" Una said urging me to continue with the story of why i'm here.

"Yeah I guess so...I had already done a lot of work for Zeak and one time I was bringing him someone I tracked down, before I was about to leave he asked me to kill someone for him. I wondered why Z didn't want me to just bring him here so Z could kill the man himself. He explained that the man had abilities that would make it impossible to hold him captive. Like I said I was young and broke, I really needed the money, if I didn't do this i'd probably go hungry. Zeak was offering A LOT of money, he gave me a huge deposit aswell. I had to do it...I tracked him down and he was on the desert planet of Tatooine. I found him in the middle of the desert in a small hut but when I looked in the window before entering with my blaster in hand and staff on my back just incase, I saw him sitting at a table. He was sat down eating a meal with his family, his wife beside him and two young children sat in front of him. I had realised what I was about to do and I couldn't do it, not knowing he had a family. I stopped in my tracks, completely turned around and made my way towards my ship. I couldn't and still can't believe that I even considered killing him. After sitting in my ship and thinking I realised there was no way I could return to Droch without having killed him, Z wouldn't have handled it great and I wouldn't have gotten any money. I was desperate so with the deposit I had I fled, moved from place to place staying away from Z. I eventually joined the resistance. So yeah that's why i'm here, basically Z is greedy and wants his money or my life. I have no money so he's planning on killing me as soon as he gets back from his trip." I said taking a big breath because of how much I was just talking.

"Jaysus that's rough, must have been a lonely life." She said resting her chin on her hand.

"Yeah I guess so..."

I can't believe I told this girl that i've just met what i've been hiding for so long. I really hope Kylo's looking for me. If he's not these are pretty much my final days. I could try to escape but there's no point...the security here is way too good.