To Make Amends • Kylo Ren/ Ben Solo x reader

• Chapter 21 •

The next few days were awkward at first. Kylo hadn't liked me seeing and being with him whilst he was so, vulnerable. I tried my best to make things feel alright.

As much as I loved being there with Kylo, I was beginning to miss my friends, my family so much. They were all I could think about before sleeping and when I would wake up.

I barely stayed in my own room anymore. At that stage I was staying in Kylo's room every night. I didn't mind at all, being so close to him was the best part of my day.

I was lying down next to Kylo after a hard day of training and he was already asleep. I was just playing with his hair as he was snuggled into me. For someone with such a hard exterior, he really is a softy. I giggled to myself.

As I was thinking, my thoughts floated back to the resistance. I loved being here with Kylo but I knew deep in my heart that I couldn't stay in the first order. It wasn't me. I'm good, I knew deep down Kylo was too. I knew i'd have to return to the resistances some point. I drifted off to sleep.

When I woke up, Kylo was just about to leave the room. I sat up quickly,

"Kylo? Where are you going." I asked in a sleepy voice.

"I will return in 3 to 5 days. I have business to attend to. Feel free to stay in my quarters." And with that he was gone, out the door.

What was I supposed to do for the next few days. My days literally consisted of training with Kylo, eating with Kylo and talking to Kylo. Wow I really don't have a life here.

After getting ready, I decided to explore his quarters. At first it felt like snooping, but he told me I could stay here so I didn't think too much about it. I found one room, it was really weird.

It was a room with nothing but one thing on a stand in the middle of the room. I walked over to the item, I studied it and after a moment I realised what it was. It was Darth Vader's helmet. I touched it lightly careful not to knock it over.

As soon as my hand made contact with it I felt shivers down my spine. All of a sudden I sensed a presence behind me. I slowly turned around, there was a man standing there. He was almost transparent and emitting a sort of blue glow, then it hit me, this was a force ghost.  Rey had talked of them but I never imagined i'd see someone.

He spoke softly, "Please don't let my grandson continue on the same path I went down. It's not worth it." And with that, before I could speak, he disappeared.

I stood there so confused, trying to process what had happened. grandson? who was he and who was he talking about. I looked back at Darth Vader's mask and that's when I realised.

"Oh my...It couldn't have been- but-. It was Darth Vader- well...Anakin Skywalker...Kylo's grandfather and Leia's Dad..." I said to myself staring at the mask.

Why did he visit me. Of all people. "Please don't let my grandson continue on the same path I went down. It's not worth it." his words kept replaying in my mind.

I went back to Kylo's bedroom, and decided I would try to meditate. I used to see Rey do it all the time. I tried my best to clear my mind. I wasn't meditating for anything other than to calm down, it did help. It so peaceful, just nothingness in my mind.

The next few days were lonely to say the least. I did nothing but wake up and wait to go to bed. I was getting tired of it and couldn't wait for Kylo to come back.

On the fifth day I woke up to Kylo entering his room, I had stayed in his bed.

"I apologise, did I wake you?" Kylo said taking off his mask.

I excitedly got out of bed and gave him a hug, he stood still for a moment but then relaxed into my arms. I was going to tell him about Darth Vader when he interrupted me.

"I have some slightly unfortunate news, your presence is requested by supreme leader Snoke, tomorrow." He said furrowing his brows.

"Ok? what about it?" I asked.

"What?" He said looking confused.

"Well you're obviously worried about it. So what is it?" I asked, mostly because I was worried.

"Just be ready for whatever may happen." He said and he kissed my forehead.

"oooh ominous" I joked. He didn't even slightly smile. I was just trying to lighten the mood...

"I know..." He said, his expression softening. "It's...nice...to see you again" He said putting his arms around me. It felt nice for him to hug me first, it seems like such a minuscule thing but it really meant a lot.

"Yeah, it's great to see you too. You weren't even gone too long and I missed you so much. I didn't know what to do without you here." I admitted standing back from him.

"I'll try not to be away too long next time." He closed the gap between us with a soft kiss. I could feel a slight smile.

After we pulled away from each other I asked, "So training?".

He looked at me and then in a split second pulled his lightsaber out and swung at me. I, without even realising, used the force to stop him, knock the saber out of his hand and into mine.

"What was that for!?" I said looking at his lightsaber. This thing is just not stable at all.

"I don't believe training will be necessary, at least for today. We can spend the day together." He said putting his hand out for me to give his lightsaber back.

"Kylo you could've killed me! What if I couldn't stop you?!" I said staring him down.

"I knew you could do it, if I didn't think you were capable I wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't want to hurt you...you're so much more powerful than you know (Y/n)" He said looking into my eyes.

"Oh." I said turning off the lightsaber and handing it back to him. He clipped it onto his belt. "I don't think i've ever had someone believe in me so much. Leia does but she obviously still has her doubts- ....I'm sorry I didn't mean to mention her."

He hesitated for a moment, "It's...it's alright." He began to open up slightly. "It's nice to hear her name again. I do miss her, you know. I've had the chance to kill her. I couldn't do it..."

I didn't say anything for a minute incase he wanted to continue, I just put my hand on his shoulder and looked at him apologetically.

"I shouldn't have told you, I apolog-" He said.

"No. You can talk to me." I interrupted him and softly smiled.

"W-well, I thought when I killed my da-" He cleated his throat. "When I killed Han Solo, I thought it would get rid of the painful feelings that were attached to him. I was wrong, if anything it made the pain worse..."

"Pain and sadness are meant to be felt. Just like happiness and...love. Kylo you can be comfortable around me, you were going to call Han your dad. Your allowed to call him that." I said rubbing his arm trying to comfort him.

"I-I don't know." He took a deep breath and straightened himself. "Well, what would you like to do today?" He asked.

"Can we do anything?" I said.

"Whatever you want." He replied.

(A/n) I didn't know if I was gonna continue this but I decided I would. I felt like it just wasn't great and I was worried about if it was moving to fast or too slow but then I realised that it's my story and I can do whatever 😂