To Make Amends • Kylo Ren/ Ben Solo x reader

• Chapter 28 •

"(Y/n) dear, it's wonderful to have you back." She said, taking my hands, a beautiful warmth to her voice.

"Leia, it's so nice to hear your voice again." I pulled her into a hug.

"I sense you have much to tell me." She said calmly.

"Actually yes, but it might take a while." I said pulling away from her.

"That's alright, i've got time." She smiled.

We sat down away from everyone else. I spent a while explaining absolutely everything to Leia, I felt she had a right to know, seeing as it was her son. It was also nice to talk to someone about everythingI had been through. I even told her how I felt about her son. She was extremely understanding about everything.

"I'm so sorry Leia, I really tried to bring Ben back." I said apologetically.

"Don't you worry, My son has just lost his way, he'll find it eventually." She said comfortingly.

"I really thought he had feelings for me, but now he's practically chosen the dark side over me...and you." I said, becoming more emotional.

"I know, I know. It going to be alright." She said rubbing my arm.

After finishing up talking to everyone, I decided to try and sleep. There wasn't anywhere in this old rebel base to sleep really so we just had blankets and sleeping bags on the floor. It was really cold here, even compared to space.

As I was trying to get some sleep I couldn't help but think about Ben or Kylo. There was no doubt the First Order would find this base soon. It's not the most hidden place in the world. I don't know what i'll do, I might have to face him again. Would he kill me? What am I saying, of course he will. He ultimately chose the dark side, whether he admits it or not.

A few days passed and things were going smoothly enough. It was a weird feeling being back, it was like being home but I still didn't feel complete. It was like there was a part of me missing. I had to go on though, for everyone's sake.

It was morning time and we were still trying to find a better place to have our base, this wasn't exactly the best. That's when I felt it. That strong presence. Leia and I both looked at each other, we could feel he was nearby.

Leia told everyone to prepare for battle but I had something else in mind. I had thought a lot over the past few days and I was resolute in my decision to face him. I needed to do this, if not for him then for myself. I needed to try, try to bring him back.

I looked out to see many walkers form the First Order. Before the pilots were going to be sent out with what very very few ships we had had left I ran to Leia.

I frantically spoke, "Leia, don't tell anyone to attack, they won't be able to. There's too many of them, I know what I have to-"

"I understand" She said calmly. "Please be safe." I turned quickly on my heel, but she stopped me. "(Y/n) wait, one more thing." She said pulling something from her pocket. "Just incase, she placed it in my hand.

It was a lightsaber hilt, I ignited it quickly, it was a blue lightsaber. "Thank you" I nodded. retracting the glowing blade.

"May the force be with you." Leia smiled warmly.

"May the force be with us all." I replied.

I felt absolutely crazy for doing this, but somehow knew it was what had to be done. I can't explain it but it was just a feeling, maybe the force guiding me. I began to run towards the door but Rey stopped me.

"(Y/n), what are doing?! This is crazy." She said, a worried expression on her face.

"Rey, I have to do this." I said, looking directly into her eyes.

She could probably sense that I was resolute in my decision to face him because of her quick response. "Fine. But i'm not letting you go alone." She sighed.

"I can do this myself. I have to do this myself. I'll be alright, don't worry." I reassured her.

"(Y/n) no-" She said, concerned.

"Rey, please." I pleaded with her.

"Alright. Be safe." Rey said placing a hand in my shoulder.

"Don't worry I will." I replied, putting my hand atop of hers.

She nodded and I ran as fast as I could outside into the cold icy plains of Crait. I must of looked like the craziest person alive, standing in front of all these walkers. I didn't know what was going to happen but all I could focus of was his presence. The presence that I had grown so attached to and fond of.