Chasing Wildness (Chase #1)

Chapter 13

“Putangina ng mga ina. Kinampihan mo na naman ‘yang mga kamag-anak mo. Akong asawa mo, hindi mo madamayan. Anong klase kang asawa!”

Napatakip ako sa tenga, at napailing.

Here we go again.
Kaya minsan ayaw kong umuwi ng probinsya eh. Maririnig lang naman ang bastos na bunganga ni pudra. Sa araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos, walang araw na hindi ko siya nakitang galit.

“Putanginang buhay ito! Puro kayo bahala lang. Walang pakialam. Hindi ninyo man lang mapagmalasakitan ang barangay ninyo!”

Kung tutuusin, may punto naman siya minsan. Kaso mali eh. Puro parinig, puro mura. Kaya wala siyang makasundo dito sa amin, ang madalas na pinapairal, init ng ulo. ‘Di marunong makisama. Ang gusto, lagi siya ang tama.

Napabuntong hininga ako. Tiyak, isang oras na naman yang magdadadaldal.

I chose to go outside because I hate hearing his cursing machine voice. I need peace and silence to think, and obviously, it’s impossible for me to do that at home.

When I saw that no one is sitting on my favorite spot, the hammock near my cousin’s house, I fasten my pace. Baka may mauna pa, mahirap na.

I made a heavy sigh nang makaupo.

It’s been three days since that encounter at the street happened. Kapag binabalikan ko ang buong pangyayari,  ‘di ko maiwasang mapangiwi. Ang cheap naman kasi. Eksena sa kalsada. Ibang klase.

And since that day, I’ve became confused. I felt more miserable and miserable each day. Adding the issues in house, it made me so hard to understand and weigh of to whom between the two my heart beats.  I don’t know anymore, if is now Mikael, or if it is still Vince.

At dahil don, I stopped entertaining and reading Mikael’s texts and chats in insta kahit pa sobrang flood na nun.  And Vince? He asked for a friend request again on facebook, pero hanggang ngayon ay ‘di ko pa ina-accept. I even saw message requests from him both in FB and insta, but I choose to ignore them.  I just want to think my feelings through. Ayaw kong pagsisihan ang magiging desisyon kong pagpili ng isa sa kanila kaya parehas ko muna silang iniwasan.

“Anyare Te Dan? Parang ilang raw ka ng problemado?”

Napatigil ako sa pagmumuni-muni, at binalingan si Anna.

“ Alam kong normal na ‘yung sa issue sa bahay ninyo, pero iba ang nakikita ko sa mga mata mo. Hulaan ko, love problem?”
She raised both of her eyebrows as if looking like an expert in guessing.

I looked away.

Maybe, sharing someone my burden will ease the pain and confusion.

“I’m stuck between my first love and the new man in my life.” I sighed, then looked at her as if waiting for a comment.

She put down the green chair she is holding, then sat on it.

“Well, you’re in real trouble cousin. You cannot just keep them both. You must choose one and sacrifice the other.”

Napalunok ako dahil sa kaseryosohan ng kanyang mga mata.

“But that’s my problem. Hindi ko alam kung kanino tumitibok ito.” I pointed my heart bago napasabunot ng bahagya.

“Taenang buhay! Kung alam ko lang na ganito ang kakomplikado ang pag-ibig na mapapasukan ko, ‘di sana noong una pa lamang, ‘di na ako humakbang sa mga pinto at kinando ko na lamang panghabangbuhay ang sariling pinto ng puso ko.”