Our Delayed Dreams (Dream Series #1)

Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Merry Christmas

"That's all. It now depends on you if you still want me back. If you still trust me. Hindi kita pipilitin. I only want you to listen, I already lost you years ago. I would not expect to get you back after all that pain you felt. That's why there was no assurance in that note. Because I was afraid that you would not want me back anymore." He stood up from sitting on the grass and seated at the swing again. His face was emotionless but his pain and longing was evident in his eyes.

"I wished you told me the reason. Sana naging matapang ka. Kung naging matapang ka lang, I would've stayed. Ganun kita kamahal, Axel. I was ready to sacrifice all my dreams for you. Only the word stay from you could've made me stay." I cried.

"Ever since you left, I started your tradition. Tatlong taon akong nagsisisi, Kila. Tuwing pumupunta ako rito, ikaw palagi ang pumapasok sa isipan ko. You never left my heart." He was looking afar.

"Sana sinabi mo sa 'kin na ganun ang sitwasyon mo. Maiintindihan kita, Axel, hindi ako mababaw na tao, alam mo 'yan. Noong panahon na 'yon I never questioned why you can't pick me up or why you did not have a lot of time for me. Because I trusted you, because I understood you. Axel, kapatid mo 'yon, buhay niya ang nakasalalay roon. I would've gave you space that time. Kasama mo sana akong pinaglaban ang pagmamahal mo." I sobbed.

"Kung hindi mo lang sinarili ang mga problema mo, you would not have any regrets now." I continued.

"Ang rami mo ng problema noon, pagod na pagod ka na. You would not expect me to tell you all those. I did not want to add more into your plate." He said as he looked at me.

"Fuck that excuse. Our relationship will only work if both of us wanted it to work. Dalawa tayong nasa relasyon, Axel, hindi lang ako at mas lalong hindi lang ikaw ang nasa loob ng relasyon. Hindi ko sinasabi na dapat lahat alam ko. Ang punto ko lang, sana when you were suffering you told me. Because I would've suffered with you." I said with pain in my voice.

"Did you know how much I lost that time? I only did not lost a lover, I also lost a bestfriend, a family."

Kung sinabi niya lang sa 'kin lahat, simula kay Serian hanggang sa issue niya sa parents niya. Kung sinabi niya lang sa 'kin maiintindihan ko siya. I was aware of Serian's feelings for me back then. Pero kinalaunan naramdaman niya na it was just a feeling of impulse. We became super close friends up to the point na ako ang pinaka unang nakaalam na may girlfriend siya.

When Axel told me that Serian had to let go of his girlfriend, it broke me. Axel's parents are toxic,  I discovered that too late. Who knows what they say behind my back. Serian was imprisoned by his parents, he never experienced happiness.

"It was hard for me. Noong oras na 'yon, hindi tayo nag-usap dahil finals mo. Then the next day... my mom threatened me again. I did not want to let you go, Kila, believe me." He said as he looked at me.

Pinalis ko ang mga luha ko. "Who would want to let go of a person whom they love the most?" I asked.

"I did not let you go because I don't love you, I needed to or else my dreams will all fall."

"I'm happy that you reached your dreams, I'm happy that after all the hardships you've gone through, you're now here, getting all the recognition you deserve." I stood up from sitting down the swing.