Our Delayed Dreams (Dream Series #1)

Chapter 32

Chapter 32: Aviation 2.0

I already felt it.

Nararamdaman ko ng the longer we see each other the more I see her getting exhausted.

Alam ko na saan 'to hahantong, and just like what I thought it really did end up this way.

Pero masaya ako, masaya ako na hindi niya pinilit na gumana 'tong set up namin ngayon.

I'm happy that she openly chose herself over me. I want her to love herself first before me because there's a big tendency that she'll get tired again in the future if she doesn't love herself.

Masakit, oo naman. Sino ba naman ang lolokohin ko kung sinabi kong okay lang ako.

It's like she's so close yet so far.

Abot kamay ko na siya pero parang hindi.

Ramdam na ramdam kong isang araw bibitaw din siya, pero masaya ako kahit papano pinili niya 'yung sarili niya.

Maybe it's a sign to choose myself na rin siguro. Siguro ngayon ako na rin ulit. I went through a life or death situation but I still chose Kila over myself.

Sa pangalawang pagkakataon na binigay saakin sa buhay ko, siguro ito na 'yon. Kailangan ko ng piliin 'yung sarili ko.

Magiging okay din ang lahat, sana... Kila, hihintayin kita.

Sana sa araw na pwede na, sumangayon na ang oras saating dalawa. Sana pwede pa.

"Hey dude... it's been months." Nakaupo ako ngayon sa bermuda grass, sa harap ng puntod ni Serian. Matagal-tagal narin simula noong huli kong bisita.

Naging busy kasi ako sa halos araw-araw kong pagpunta kay Kila noon.

Ilang buwan narin ang nakalipas simula noong araw na parehas naming napagdesisyunang palayain ang mga sarili namin sa isa't isa.

It's been tough, really tough. I'm also healing from the accident. I can fly again soon.

I can meet the sun again.

"Musta diyan? Marami bang maganda?" I chuckled before I caressed his tomb stone.

"Binisita ka na ba nila mom and dad?" I smiled painfully.

"I left... lumayo na 'ko sakanila. Ang hirap tumira sa iisang bubong kasama sila, ee. Si ate naman... she has her own family already. Me? I have Kila in my heart and that's enough. Napagod nga lang siyang mahalin ako, pero naghihintay pa rin ako. Hihintayin ko siya, sana pwede pa. Pero kung hindi na it's fine also. We've been given so many chances to try to make it work and if this time it doesn't then maybe it wasn't supposed to be us in the first place." Pagkwekwento ko sa mga ganap sa buhay ko lately.

"Wala na 'kong balita kung anong meron kina mom and dad... I already cut them off kasi pagod na 'ko. I'm earning enough money already and I have the luxury to do so. I hope you're proud of kuya, bunso. Miss na miss na kita, you're smiles... laughs and mostly, your I love you's. I'm sorry I never got the chance to say I love you back when you told me you love me. I thought I still had other days to tell you that but I was wrong. That thought still hunts me 'till to this day because there's a lot of what ifs in my mind whenever I get to think of those moments."