Our Delayed Dreams (Dream Series #1)

Chapter 33

Chapter 33: You're there but it's like you're gone

tw // car accident

*flashback*

*This scene is taking place while Kila's at her 3rd year of pre-med, a year before she graduates for pre-med, while Axel is at his 4th year of aeronautical engineering, a year before he graduates. 3 years in the relationship already.*

"Axel, pangakong mapapako nanaman ba?" Mapait kong tanong sakanya. "You know what, let's take a break first. Nasasakal ka, nasasakal din ako. Axel, this whole thing happening right now is affecting my performance at school. I can't afford to lose my dream just like how you can't afford to lose them too." Pagtutuloy ko.

"Kila, let's not come to this point, please."

"No, kailangan mong pag-isipan 'yang mga desisyon mo sa buhay mo. If you're uncertain then how the hell will I know about what the hell you truly want to happen between the two of us. Hindi pa 'ko pagod, Ax pero malapit na, kaya ako na mismo nagsasabi let's rest and take a break first." Ani ko. "Focus on your studies and I will too."

"Do you really think na papayag ako sa gusto mong mangayri?" Tanong niya saakin habang tinitignan ako sa mata na pilit ko namang iniiwasan.

"Hindi, kaya I'm pushing my decision. Kung ayaw mong humantong tayo sa punto na magsawa at aayawan nalang natin ang isa't isa let's take a break for fuck's sake." I said, getting furious now. Sobrang dumb lang na he doesn't want to take a break pero isang maling galaw nalang parehas na kaming magpapagod.

"We can talk nicely, Kila. Let's fix this."

"I am talking to you nicely, Axel, my dreams means the world to me and I know so is for you, hahayaan mo nalang ba na lahat ng paghihirap mo mawala dahil lang sa sitwasyon natin ngayon? Ayoko ng makipag-usap kung ipipilit mo lang na maaayos natin 'tong issue na 'to sa loob ng araw na 'to." I said and paused for a while.

Wala siyang sinabi kaya pinagpatuloy ko pa ang mga nais kong gustong sabihin.

"Not everything can be fixed in one day, Ax. I know inside these three years we've been togehter lahat ng misunderstandings natin we get to fix it in one day at never tayo natutulog na galit o may hindi maayos na pagkakaintindihan sa isa't isa. But this time's different, my love. Parehas na tayong burned out. Pahinga lang, mahal ko. Kakapit pa rin naman ako."

"Pero ayaw ko nang ganoon, Kila. I may sound too selfish but I don't want you to do this, I can't afford-"

"You can't afford what?" I cut him off. "You can't afford to lose me? But can you afford to lose your dreams too? The answer is no, right?"

I paused for a while, giving him time to answer but he didn't as he stayed silent.

"Axel, I'm going. Wala nang patutunguhan 'tong paguusap natin. My decision is final, let's take a break,"

"I love you, kapitan mo 'yung salitang mahal kita dahil mahal talaga kita." With that, I saw a lone tear fall from his eye as I turned his back from him to go back to my car and drive somewhere far away... somewhere that can temporarily heal my aching heart.

Home... that's Axel. Someone who I consider home because whenever I'm with him I get to take a rest from all the tiredness I have in me.

Pero napapadalas na 'yung mga oras na mangangako siya at hindi naman niya magagawa o matutupad.

Tulad ngayon, I waited for 4 hours for him dahil nangako siyang magco-convoy kami papuntang Antipolo ngayon dahil gusto kong takasan lahat ng kapaguran ko.